WTF? Home? Iraq had less problems...

OK Dear and Gentle Reader, The Intrepid Reporter is back and has all sorts of 'fun from the home front' stuff going on. Needless to say, I made it home for my well deserved R&R (Rest and Relaxation to you civvies) or my historical fave, I&I (Intercourse and Intoxication) both of which I've been attempting at a new land-speed record. Household Six and the Chilluns have been thrilled to have me home, but nonetheless, there have been a few 'wrinkles' in an otherwise pristine time.

What? Problems you say? Problems? Aye... A whooooole LOTTA identity theft of the I.R. and specifically my bank/debit Credit Card. Seems that for the past 5 years I've been bouncing around the Middle East and dealing with "The Ali Baba Credit and Trust" banks of the area. The Baghdad International Federal Credit Union issued me a personal draft good up to 40 Million Iraqi Dinar (which is worth about 450 pesos or 12 US Dollars when rounding up on the centavos, 'course if I get it in Canadian Dollars, we're talking enough to get a 12 Pack of Molson lite!) So anyways... here's the ole I.R. on vay-kay and I go and use my debit here stateside. Now the only issue I've ever had was ye Ole Bank of America sometimes freaks when my location changes, as in at 9am US Time I charge something in Kuwait, and then 10 hours later, I'm running a bar tab in the airport at Dulles. Usually a 2 minute call to the security folks is good enough to wrap up any questions, but this morning was a special case.

Now those of you following this here reportage know that I've discovered various watering holes in and around Baghdad. Another sure sign of a building economy is the "Intrepid Reporter Economic Progress Theory of Bar Expansion and Alchohol Availability." This Macroeconomic Theory dictates that the Success of an Economy can be Measured in A) Quantity of Boozing Locales and B) Quality of Beverage Available. The more places available = the more money being spent on booze and the quality of booze available = the more money people are willing to spend to get the "good stuff." Kuwait being a prime indicator of the facility of B) in that a bottle of Johnny Walker Black runs $200 a liter. But anyways, It'll need work, but suffice to say, I've been drawing $$$ USD specifically from the various ATMs and kiting checks through the on post exchange to insure a steady cash flow to insure proper lubrication of my synapses. In kiting the checks, I've been monitoring my check flow thru the web on a daily basis to insure that I don't bone the check cashing ability in that if you ricochette one with AFFES, you lose the $100 daily ability they provide.

Imagine my shock this morning when on opening the account, I find I'm in the hole over $300. This from a balance of over $2K. Looted you say? Aye I say... Yeah... Howabout them fuckin Apples? I spend years all over the world in the Center of Shady Central and I get ganked here in the Homeland? Fucking nice huh? Needless to say I went into "Red Alert: Money is missing" mode and called everyone and anyone and rifled through 40 different fraud departments and got damned near 80 % of the bogus charges KIA'd before they got spent out. The only problem was they wouldn't tell me who specifically or where specifically said bogus calls/charges came in from. I do KNOW that it's in Massachusetts from where one person slipped, but they did say I'd need a subpoena to get said info. Unfortunately, thats not a good idea in that my way of dealing with this would be the $99 flight into Boston and show up whatever Ghetto these scumfucks live in, and give them like 30 minutes to shit say, $50,000 USD or I'd have to kill them. Yeah, extortion and hell, considering how they pissed me off, I'd kill them out of hand anyways.

Eh... the only thing that'd be bad is having to dispose of the corpses. In Iraq, carcass-disposal means leaving a body in an orange jumpsuit minus a casaba. The Military and Dirty Haj take care of it from there. The military cleans it up, and the Dirty Haj take the blame, gleefully from what I've seen. Those assholes even tried to make a claim on the mass shooting at the Immigrant Center in New York.... Silly Haj, Massacres like that are done by homegrown psychos, not radical Islamic Wierdbeards. The average "wants to get into Paradise" fuckhead understands that if they WERE in fact to go after a 'soft target' like a mall or something "Mom and Apple Pie" like that, that we'd be all out in a bloodfest against them. THATS why I think they haven't done anything like that. Fact of the matter, the reason they DON'T go for the soft targets is that, besides the "Blue States" that generally are filled with their "Hug a Fucking Commie" filthy Anti-American bastions, the only thing left are Pro-American Red States, and the odds of them getting to cause mass mayhem are pretty slim, as generally the gun-toting folks (like myself) are armed to the teeth, and would live for a chance to slowly shoot one of the "Allahfucks" to pieces. I know I would. If they DID go after a Mall, in say Brookline MA (home to one of the LARGEST jewish populations outside of NYC) then the People of the Socialist Republic of Taxachusetts wouldn't be able to wring their collectivist hands at the oppression of the Hamas and other such things.... Killing Liberals only makes other Liberals into Conservatives, and we can't be having that now, Achmed can we? After all, the old saw of "A Liberal is a Conservative who hasn't been mugged yet." stands hard on that.

More later... I watch the unfolding "Mad Minute Massacres" nationwide with both horror and a sense that we're only seeing the beginning. Keeep your powder dry and remember that I told you here first that this's only the beginning of the "Summer of Madness"... More later y'all!

R&R

Whooo. OK How many days since my last posting? When was the last time I had internet? How about fucking hot water? Geez... So much has happened, and yet not. Well, lets get to the story as it stands now... Your Intrepid Reporter is in Baghdad, Land that Sanitation and Good Manners Forgot, and will be for the next 24 hours. Then, I sky.

YES!!!

R&R after 5 or so months... 5 and some change actually. Time to kick the dirt offa da bootz and roll to the House, Cold Beer, kids and a warm and (hopefully) Willing Wife... truthfully, she'd damned well better be willing after this long assed enforced celibacy... anyways... Well, lets see...

When we last left the IR, he'd been forced to work long hard assed hours. Nothings changed there. No time off, no internet and no fun. The only relief has been the occasional Extreme Sport of "Drinking Outside The Wire" at the Iraqi bars. A sport not for the faint of heart, nor even the fucking sane. Despite the Militarys enforcement of "No Booze No Fun No Sex" General Order Number One, which happens to end with a codicile written in 'weasel speak' (meaning lawyerese) that "And if we haven't thought of it and written it here, it too, is strictly prohibited." Well, despite that I say "Fuck it." and go for it. I mean what sort of Contractor would I be if I didn't bend the rules now and again? I mean hell... My wife sez there is no 'Black and White' with me, just 'Shades of Grey' as the Dead song goes. I mean as I say "No harm, no foul" then hey? Sometimes you just gotta say "What the fuck?"

Now before I quote Tom Cruise again, I'll pause to beat my head with a fucking mallet, and then I'll continue... So as I was saying, the internet has been totally dicked up lately. Only recently did the genuises I work with figure out how to get it running so I'm good. Fat lot of good of course, seeings that I'm leaving tomorrow, but given the option of staying? OH HELL NO! So yeah, I finally finished the Compound that I was tasked into costructing. Head Hajji Overseer again. Unlike the last job I did back in '04, this one was pretty smooth, albeit that we got ripped of by the Haj on our generators... they said they were new, but two days into the running of them, the fucking muffler broke off of one of them, and the other one runs like a fucking poorly tuned Asthmatic Yugo. Have you ever stood close to a 30K generator running flat out? Think LOUD. Like holy shit loud. Now, imagine it if you can, being even louder. The muffler keeps it so that you can think... without it? the damned thing sounds like a Kenworth running at 110 miles an hour flat out. LOUD LOUD. As in "shakes the fucking walls down" loud. So I get the blame.

Oh yeah... did I mention I have a new boss? I'll refrain from going off... lets just say he looks about a Large Long in an Orange Jumpsuit and I was pricing Machetes in the PX yesterday. Dude had better remember that this IS Iraq and accidents and "The Dirty Haj" do happen.

So yeah, I have to show one pic of the construction :

This is when they started to lay the T-Walls which are supposed to protect us from mortar and rocket attacks, and yes, the Hajji supervising is in fact digging deep in his asscrack. Yeah... "IMPORTANT Note to self... do NOT shake hands with the foreman." The dude kept working that hand there to the point it was obvious that he had 'something' wrong and man, there is just waaaaaaaay too much info just in the fact that I didn't INTEND on that picture being taken. I was snapping away and I happened to catch him at it, but considering the frequency that he was doing it, I'm surprised that ALL the pics of him didn't show "Mister Itchy Ass Haj" doing it in all of them.... Ugh... what a country...

So on other news... One serious note... According to GlobalSecurity dot Org, there have been 38 US Service men and women Killed/Named KIA since the Obamamessiah took office. How many of them have you heard of?

Ahhh thats right... you won't or haven't. The Mass Corporatemedia, also as I call them, the Demomediamania Mob, made up of the likes of the Communist News Network and such have downplayed the loss of our brave warriors. How many times did the media slavishly and completely run every single casualty when Bush was in office or when McCain was running for office, being dragged into the spotlight and laid bloody at the feet of the Republicans? How many families were devastated by these fucking vultures and scum-monkeys by being asked "How does it feel that your son/daughter died for George Bush's war?" Hmmn... like I said... it's time to target the media... physically. If you're a vet, the next time a newman comes over to you, just knock him the fuck out, or, if you're disabled, hose 'em down with Bear Mace. It's the least they deserve. I mean how many times did those Goddamned Vultures DEMAND the right to film at Delaware when the coffins were being offloaded? A couple of hundred that I could see. Now? Not so much. Fuckers. "Freedom of the press?" Howabout the freedom to kick your scummy fucking ass when I get the chance?

I'm truly disgusted. 38 of our best, killed, but no one fucking mention or honor... the Media Clowns used to cover every single death... granted they had an agenda, and I disagree the way they did it, but at least they still allowed America to see that our best had fallen, and allowed the rest of America to pause and maybe reflect, or even say -GASP- a prayer for them and/or for thier families...

Now these fucking douchebag fucking worms hide and bury the news, so as to not 'stain' their "Chosen One." I swear to God in Heaven that when I hit the States tomorrow, if theres a media crew there filming or asking or interviewing troops, I'll have a tough time restraining myself.

Anyways... gotta stop thinging about it... it gets the blood boiling and I got my Irish up so to speak. I'll leave it at this: I'm final;ly going to be home for a while, and am looking hard forward to it, so I may update when I'm there, but that remains to be seen... I'm just thrilled to be going home to my family, cold beer, hot, clean water and flushable toilets. No more blue water poo boxes for 3 weeks!!! Until then, I'll holler at you later!

A Few Comparisons...

Ok Today Ladies and Gentlemen of the Studio Viewing audience, Your Intrepid Reporter of Fame and Legend is going to relate a few things I noticed in watching a Discovery Channel show the other night. Seems that this was a show talking all about "The Greatest Generation" and the entire World War Two experience as it were. This was a somewhat edjamacational show for those who aren't ardent students of history, but the part that got me, and what sort of teed me off was the constant harping on how "hard the troops of the line had it." And how it was soooooo tough and that the 'younger generations' couldn't 'appreciate the hardship that those troops had to endure.' I call Bullshit on that. They kept having intersperced interviews with some of the guys who were 'on the line' back in the day, but the overwhelming tone of the entire show was "you young folks don't have it as hard as we did back then!" sort of crap. The "I walked up two miles to school everyday, uphill, both ways, in a blizzard!" sort of bullshit. This got me to thinking, and speaking purely from a neutral point of view, those guys back then had it as cake compared to today. This picture I ruthlessly stole from a reinactor website for the 82nd Airborne. The reinactors claim total authenticity, and seeings it was a good shot, it shows how much "Battle Rattle" the grunts in 1944 had to hump. Now granted, the average load bearing gear back then compared to today was primative, but man... the amount of stuff these dudes have on what was called a "Routine Patrol Pictured" shows the basic combat load of an Airborne Infantryman in the field. Notice the Ammo pouches... 4 to a man, 2 on each side, one 'clip' per pouch. Each guy is also wearing a 'steel pot' with liner, and wearing a small rucksack. The weapons pictured are M1 Garands... heavy as hell but a solid 8 shot weapon. Also visable on one guy on the left is the sheath to a knife, probably a close cousin of the K-Bar the marines carried. Add one canteen per man, and realize they were operating in Europe in June...

Now: Compare this to the dudes from the 2nd Infantry Division in a picture shot in Iraq last year. It's not totally clear, but I know, from Experience, that these guys are saddled up in a Kevlar Vest with Plates that tips in ALONE at 50 to 72 pounds depending on the size. Thats just the body armor. Add in at least 3 ammo pouches/bandoliers of ammo holding 2-3 magazines at a pound apiece, throw in the rest of the gear, usually to include a CamelBack water carrier (3 liters of water) and the other ephemera that a grunt humps and ugh! Lets see "The Greatest Generation" take all that and hump it. Granted, the helmet and body armor help save lives, and they didn't have the high speed technology back in the day, but to have to wear ALL of that and in Iraq where the average mean temperature in the summer is like 120 degrees? Cut the "Generation X'ers" a bit of slack here gang! As a contractor I have to hump my own armor and helmet every time I go out on mission, and man, it shows me to be a fat and out of shape former grunt that I used to be. Hell... back in MY "Old Army Daze" WE didn't even have a set of armor like these kids are running around in, never mind suffering the heat while being basted in yer own juices while wearing this stuff. Add in that back in WW2, you KNEW who the 'bad guys' were, and usually where they were, and you were allowed to shoot them. Whereas our guys now are fighting a 4th Generation style conflict, where the 'bad guys' are invisible, and then, even then, shooting them might get you hemmed up and faced with a murder rap... even if it means saving your own peoples lives! To quote Martin Sheen in "Apocalyse Now": "Shit... charging a man with murder in this place was like handing out speeding tickets in the Indy 500."

Yeah, pluses and minuses to both eras... I'm not bashing the WW2 vets per se, but just in the portrayal that the media (AGAIN!) seems to like to do to our guys on a regular basis... Enough ranting on the media for the moment here.

Things here in Iraq have gotten off to a fucked up sort of start these days, but then again, worldwide, I have a feeling that we're building towards 'something.' That something isn't tangable, but considering the number of mass shootings in the States (10 in Alabama or some such place as of this morning) and the mass murder/suicides and shit thats happening all over because of the economy, stress and all the nasty business that the current Administration seems hell bent on creating in an attempt to create a socialist paradise, well then, it's enough to make a person like me a bit MORE paranoid than usual. I mean Hell, Iraq: Suicide Bombings two times in as many days, with Mass Casualties. Ireland: IRA assholes killing Tommies (Brit Troops) in an ambush and then killing a cop the next day. United States: Multiple Mass shootings in random areas at random times.

Mass Hysteria? Not yet, but definately the pressure is building. The Current Abomination...er Administration is also NOT helping matters worldwide. Between the "Hug Me Fuck Me" message that they keep sending out, and the outright fearmongering going on on the news to further his agenda, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. I'm in Iraq and I only see what the mass media feed me on AFN on the tube and what I can garner off of the web, and even I can see things are getting funky. The summer hasn't hit, and the economy keeps getting trashed out, taxes are about to hit the roof, and I got a hunch it's time to restockpile some shit as it's not looking too fucking rosy in the future. Think "Pre-9-11" stupidity. In June/July of 2001, I saw a similar trend of 'pressure building' that subsequently saw a 'pressure release' of 9-11 and the series of unending wars going on.

Now, in 2009, the economy is tanking, the wars are winding down, the gummint is broke and looking to tax the ever loving shit out of anything that moves, all the while taking over whats LEFT of the free market, and man, It don't look good. Me, I say stock up on food and essentials cause they ain't gonna be around much longer... Just look at gun sales... even the 'common herd' is spooked, and the people in power know it. As the Chinese Curse goes "May you live in interesting times..."

It's been how long?

Wow.... Time flies when you're working your ass off, day after day, slaving for "The Man" and not having any down time.... Yep the IR here with not so much for the scene in The Baghdad Cafe, formerly known as the Saddam-A-Go-Go. The only thing I've been doing is 'ye olde nose to ye olde grindstone.'

Seems that "The Big Boss Man" came to town... and I'm burned out for it... Yeah... The Corporate Head honcho showed up and I'm better for it in many respects, especially since he's carried the Corporate Checkcard and Pimp-Roll-O-Cash to smooth out the purchases and such that I've been screaming about over the past few months, it's helped me with my job SIGNIFICANTLY.

My biggest issue though is there's hardly any 'skate time' Not when the guy who's in the "make or break" side of your career is sitting right behind you for 12 hours out of the day. Considering the poor bastard is working AS much if not more, then I'd be amazed... He sits and works with us all day long and then he still has to go home and be joined to the computer, as the States are like 8 hours behind us.... meaning when the Corporate Pinheads schedule a 4pm Eastern Standard telconference, we have to be up at like midnight here... AFTER having already done a fucking 12 hour shift... But it's the reason I haven't had too much commentary to throw out there as of late. I've been flat the fuck out busy busy and to the point I haven't updated anything, to include facebook, myspace or any of the other bits of entertainment you loyal readers follow me and the Not So Much Lately Adventures of the Intrepid Reporter.

But, as of late, Baghdad is quiet. The changeover between 4th Infantry Division and 1st Cavalry Division is pretty much over with now. Yep... leave it to me to be 'back with the Cav' again like I was in 04-05. I just can't seem to escape 1st Cavalry Division... it's like a reoccurring cold, or actually, considering how the Cav annoys me, I'd say it's more like having a case of herpes... flares up and annoys the shit out of you at the most inopportune times... I mean it was being in the Cav that got me hurt many many moons ago, and it was the Cav that screwed me over every time I turned around during my Med Board, and then, in 04, it was the Cav that abandoned me, Lil Country, and the rest of the CACI folks when they 'pulled the line of battle' back during a particularlly hairy week, leaving us as "Fresh Meat" for the Dirty Haj if they felt so inclinded. The Cav... as I say of the patch

"The Horse Never Ridden, The Line Never Crossed, and the Color Right Down The Back."

That about sums up 1st Cav... and I've EARNED the right to bag on that unit... Having spent 4 years and all the shit I went through, I have DEFINATELY BT-DT-GTTS.

But yeah. Baghdad is quiet. Mosul now? Not so much. Reports filtering down through various 'shall remain unnamed' sources have filled the IR up with all sorts of tales... Seems that the Surge that the Media loved to lambast but now keep their mouths shut about worked in that the US Army, combined with a newly re-energized Iraqi Military, succeeded in driving the majority of terrorists and babyrapers right out of the Capital. They headed North into Kurd Kountry... Sunni Central from my understanding of it. We've taken some casualties (another thing you WON'T hear from the media as trumpeting casualties lays it on the Obamamessiahs Lap rather than George "I'm Outta Here" Bush.) but we're still winning.

Which brings me to my point of an earlier post. I didn't get ANY responses about beating on the reporters or such ideas. I mean "Beat The Press" is such a cute bit of wordplay, and the idea of taking some of these neo-socialist fucking hacks and feeling the impact of my "mighty right fist o' death" on one of their smarmy, mewling, puking, plastic-enhanced grills, and having the satisfaction of watching caps and teeth fly like so many chicklets from a goalies' mouth.... Damn... I need a cigarette... That would be OH so nice. To see Dan Rather get stomped (even though just pushing him over or hiding his dentures would be good enough) while singing the R.E.M song for all of his inordinate Anti-American Tirades... to see all of them Tarred and Feathered properly. Properly in that the tar is heated to such a degree that said victim(s) would usually die from the 2nd and 3rd degree burns even before all the feathers could be properly applied.

I'm now OFFICIALLY on the "Anti-Press Bandwagon." The country is broke, broken and we've got nothing to show for it than a neophyte president who's wholly incapable of stringing a coherant thought into a concerted sentence without the use of a teleprompter who was elected more by a festering neo-liberal bunch of malcontents who, rather than actually do their jobs, were content to be Democratic Cheerleaders and get a man elected who, in reality, scares the ever loving shit out of me. Me? I'd prefer if The Hillaroid had gotten in... better the "Socialist Demon You Know" than the "Closet Muslim Neo-Fascist You Don't." The Press succeeded in swinging the vote, and is now complicit in hiding the ABYSSAMAL job that their chosen one is doing.

4 Trillion dollars.

4 with 12 zeros.

4,000,000,000,000.00

God Help us. I'm barely making ends meet working my ass off for the "Imperial Federal Government" and I'll be lucky if they don't chop the 'tax free' duckets off of my tax return. It's like the ONLY reason I stay here. Tax free is the ONLY reason, and making 100K a yearhelps too. No such thing as that in the states now eh?

BTW: One last note: My mailing addy has changed to

"My Name"

MNCI-C6

APO AE 09342

DSN 485-5981

The DSN Number on the bottom helps the mailroom folks to call me when the stuff shows up. Please feel free to mail me anything and everything. My "other mother" Susan sent some of the most KILLER chocolate chip cookies, which actually made it here inside of 5 days of her mailing them... My thanks for those... they rocked!!!! Any booze drugs or anything else... well, I'm NOT supposed to get them, but at this point, any and all donations are gratefully recieved. Seeings that I'll be home in the end of the month, (R&R Baby YEAH!!!) I'm really looking forward to it.

OH One more thing. Let me know if anyone wants a job over here... working with me. I'm literally hiring another Logistician, so send me them resumes to all who are interested. Until then, I remain, the Intrepid Reporter.

Iraq and Evolution to Revolution

Greetings and Salutations from Iraq, the country that time, common sense and anything Decent forgot!!!

I’m live (for now) here at the Baghdad Kit Kat Klub, formerly known as the Saddam-A-Go-Go and hanging pretty regularly in the Sinbad Bar and Grill at the BIAP Hotel and Convention Center. I’m regular enough to know all of the wait-staff, and am now pretty familiar with the “movers and shakers” here in country. The Sinbad is the magnet for “People of Power” who wish to chill, among which are NSA, CIA and State Department types… Me? I get by ‘cause I know the owner of the place. Yeah, it’s all about who you know, or if female, who you blow. To a point, I spent one night getting boozed up with a member of the Iraqi Parliament, Mr. Nabeel Musawi, who is listed as the “Leader of the Loyal Opposition” in many theaters, but is also a member of the Iraqi National Congress. Yepper, the Old Intrepid Reporter is moving up in the world, and partying with peeps who are the “top o’ da top” here in theater.

Truthfully, it was a fascinating time hanging with “Naib” as I called him, which is short for his name Nabeel, and also Arabic for “Chief.” He was excited by the upcoming election, but terrified by the concept of the Obama folks and the future of Iraq. To understand, this dude was against Saddam BEFORE it was cool to be against Saddam. Back when old Saddy used to send agents into other countries to assassinate his critics. His biggest fear was how the Americans might leave, and that his people would not be fully ready to “take the helm” Another fear is that we’d leave before the Iraqis are ready to defend themselves from the Iranians. Seems that the age-old hatreds are still there… I mean REALLY old as in “Persians VS Babylonian” type hatreds… the whole “This is SPARTA” timeframe shit… these people are REALLY into holding a grudge let me tell you… Either way, the election went surprisingly well, and for once was without any sort of ‘real violence’ that I’d seen in ’04.

Nicely done Iraq. At this rate I’m gonna be out of a gig…

So anyways: Back in the States… now known as The United People’s Socialist State of Obamaland.

Let me begin this section with a small warning: Just WHAT. THE. FUCK. I mean I knew that the Obamamessiah was going to be bad news, but it’s like the bad news a Doctor gives you :”We’ve found a growth and it’s dick cancer” kind of news. I mean I knew Obama was gonna play towards the Muslims and try to Eat some Islamic Ass in some Leftist Neo-Marxist “Rodney King Can’t We All Just Get Along?” Worldview, but Holy Shit! Check this little number:

“By executive order, President Barack Obama has ordered the expenditure of $20.3 million in migration assistance to the Palestinian refugees and conflict victims in Gaza.

The "presidential determination" which allows hundreds of thousands of Palestinians with ties to Hamas to resettle in the United States was signed on January 27 and appeared in the Federal Register on February 4.

President Obama's decision, according to the Register, was necessitated by "the urgent refugee and migration needs" of the "victims."

Few on Capitol Hill took note that the order provides a free ticket replete with housing and food allowances to individuals who have displayed their overwhelming support of the Islamic Resistance Movement (Hamas) in the parliamentary election of January 2006.”

What.
The.
Fuck.

We don’t even have the ability to take care of the fucking people in our own country, and now we’re gonna import a Whole Horde of Dirty Hajj into the States? I mean I could understand if we were using them as targets on a live fire range or something, but what in the Name of Screaming Tree Jesus is the Obamamessiah fucking doing? Hamas? In The States? OMFG give me strength.

Talk about going the EXACT opposite of the Bush years idea of “We’re fighting them there to keep them from fighting them here” and now a turnabout of that to “C’mon in… the jewelry is in the dresser, the good scotch is under the mantel, and try not to rape my wife too hard.” Mentality. I’m NOW convinced that a LOT of the nutbars who were screaming “He’s a closet Muslim” might have been onto something there. The quote of “hundreds of thousands” scares me fucking shitless… there just ain’t that many Seven-Elevens or taxis in America to provide them with a job, and when the Dirty Haj get to the states, the first thing they’re gonna get is a welfare check and a free house? FUUUUUUUUUUCK!

It’s enough to make a white man join a ‘social club.’

Me? I’m DOUBLING my order of ammunition this month and REDOUBLING an order for some more Mountain House prepared foods. My advice? Do the same. Guns, food, water and look into the whole “Hardening the House” thing cause I got me a wild hunch it’s gonna get reeeeallly fucked up in the states soon. Until then, I’ll keep working until I need to come home.

Don’t start the revolution without me.

Despite the Recent Mortars...

I've been really busy on the job, but have been trying to update and such. FINALLY though, I"VE GOT BANDWIDTH!!! Which means y'all get a few pictures, and later, hopefully if it works (not in this post mind you) but video too. The pic above is of a new 7 or 10 story building in the Baghdad area... It's a new business center, and as you can see, they want YOU to KNOW that they are, as the sign sez "OPEN." It's a sure-fire positive sign of things getting better. A picture that would NEVER be published in the states, but here it is, Brought to you by the letter "F", the number "69" and the World Famous Intrepid Reporter.This one here I just sort of snapped on the way home. What struck me is how the Media, Other Governments and Liberal Fucktard Assholes of the planet (and in our own country) try to make us out to being an "Army of Occupation." Let me ask thid: In World War Two: Did we allow the krauts to keep flying the Swastika when we won? Answer: Fuck No! So, my 'proof' of this NOT being an occupation is this: a simple Iraqi National Flag flying proudly on Route Irish... which in itself is amazing as in 04, normally I stood a decent chance of getting shot if I stopped to take a pic like this.

Now, to update on other things and ephemera. Before the "One" was crowned...er...cor'nated...er... I mean the in-auger-ated "One"... you know, that black dude. Anyways, the Dirty Haj had been throwing all sorts of nastiness our way, which in a word, SUCKED. That and the closure of the Duty Free... no more easy booze unless I go to a bar OUTSIDE the wire, which in itself is an adventure, as it means
A) going to bar

B) drinking like a fish as fast as possible (Chug 3- 1 liter Beers and 3 Double Jacks in 45 minutes)

C) jumping back in the truck and hauling ass back to base and getting inside a 'safe zone' before the buzz REALLY kicks in. (Gotta appear sober at the gate, lest the authorities become aware you've been boozing.)

It's sort of an "Extreme Drinking Game" put to it's fullest extent...

Said Bar being located pictured above, the Baghdad International Airport Hotel and Convention Center. Home of the Sinbad Bar and Grill. Yep. No shit folks... and yeah, that is a functioning fountain in the froont. They've recently added on to the building and added a Shisha Cafe, which is where you go to smoke up the flavored tobaccos through a Hooka Pipe. It's a nice hotle, but a bit pricey at $225 a night for a suite. But considering it's 6 bux for a beer and 3 bux for a decent shooter of booze, I'll risk the $$$ and the time to go. Seeing the asshole in the back waving his hand... What do you want? OH? WHY would I risk life, limb and my ass in going out there? Well... the answer is simple Poindexter:

I live in fucking Stonehenge.

Big fucking rock walls surround every fucking inch of my house, my yard and my life. THIS is why I booze...

You would too, if'n you were here.

Until Later, I'll keep my head down, and my liver lubricated. Email me those of you who do, and let meknow what you think of the pics and such. Otherwise, I remain The Intrepid Reporter.

Damn I though it was too quiet...

OK Dear Readers
The Intrepid Reporter of Lore and Fame, (if only in my own twisted mind) has been in the nightmare mode that Baghdad has become. Namely the Dirty Fucking Haj (TM) has been getting active again.

Yeah.. we went from "Dead and Boring" to "Potentially Dead From Incoming." This sucks man. I've Been There Done That with this shit before. Hell, I took 2 seperate pieces of shrapnel in 04 when I got caught at Logbase Sietz during the "Worst of the Worst" back in the old days... I really DON'T want to relive those days... like when my fucking house got hit in Sept 04. For those of you just joining the IR Report, I was smart enough to go to work on September 14, 2005 fifteen minutes early. Thankfully I did as my house took a DIRECT hit from a chinese 82mm mortar round which, if I had been there, would have reduced the Intrepid Reporter to grape jelly. I was early as I got into a pissing contest with my so to speak manager at the time, who had given me shit about the fact that I was always JUST on time and never early. That morning I decided to show the prick I could be early, and because of it, I'm still alive. Thanks be to Jesus that I went with my urge to show the prick that I could be early.

Anyways:
Right now, man, lately, we've been under some INSANE level of incoming… like compared to 2004, not so much, but considering that when I got here, it'd been over 9-10 months since any, mind you, ANY rounds hit, and for like 3 days/nights in a row we've had between 2 to 4 incoming rounds. The Close In Weapons System called "Cee-Whiz" has been getting the majority of them, except for the one that jammed/fucked up the other night. Mind you OF FUCKING COURSE that was the one that impacted like right across from my house. Shook the walls blew dirt and stuff everywhere on my porch and roof and rattled my nerves pretty well… killed my buzz too… the bastards!

I can deal with incoming however, it's the side effects like negating a mellow night and having to don my Dragon Skin. Let's face it, it's uncomfortable to lay in the bed and wear that stuff as Household Six was on the Skype Phone with me and heard the whole thing. Hell hath no fury like an Enraged/terrified Italian/Sicilian wife. She sez "Wear it" and well, I tell her I do. Realistically, so far today/tonight it's quiet, but it's only5:44pm local. They seem to shoot at us later in the evening, right after the evening pray call. The real pain in the ass is that we don't seem to have a CAP (Combat Air Patrol) over us of Apaches like we did 'back in the day.' It used to be they'd shoot a few rounds at us, and the Apaches would get a grid location from the "Far Finder" Radar (which tells them roughly within a few meters where the rounds came from) and the next thing we'd usually hear was the beautiful sound of the Bushmaster 25 mike-mike blasting the hell out of the retards who were stupid enough to shoot at us.

The reduction of forces has me nervous actually. They seem to be 'building up' towards 'something.' The word on the street is that they want to 'test' the new POTUS and what with everything I'm reading/hearing/seeing on the net/radio and TV, his talking about shutting down here in Iraq sooner is only going to provoke them into doing to us what Hamas is/has been doing to Israel. Meaning small provocative attacks that are pin pricks… not very effective on causing casualties per se, but makes life fucking miserable for the Joes and us Scumbag Contractors.
Otherwise, y'all say a little pray for the ole IR... things here be a bit off the chain...
Until Later
The Intrepid Reporter