Saturday, September 27, 2008

Hi Ho Its On to Iraq I Go...

Fuck it. Let me start by getting that out of the way. I finally made a choice and it's Iraq. It's a case of outright retardedness on my point I know. Its a matter of straight economics. I mean what with the meltdown going on worldwide, and in the States, it's the only logical thing for me to do.

The two choices were Japan and Iraq. Most people would be like "Huh thats a no brainer!" and go with the Land of The Rising Sun and Godzilla movies. Me too normally, up until the company in question made me, as Brando said, "An offer I couldn't refuse." I mean when that much money gets flashed metaphorically speaking under one's nose, and you are first and foremost a Mercenary at Heart, then hell... Iraq here I come.

I was sorely tempted by Japan mind you... to the point now I actually have spent the past two months learning basic Japanese and think I could at least make myself, the Giant Gaijin, (thats Whiteboy for all y'all rednecks in the audience) understood at least on a basic level. The Japanese I've found from my research are very much like the French in that if you don't speak the language, you don't rate so high, albeit like the French in that only, and not in general cowardice and foul odors. My few run ins that I had with the JDF or Japanese Defense Forces were limited in my last tour in Iraq, however there was a humorous exchange of views where when I realized that the Jap LT I was speaking to understood English, (more than 70% of Japan does) but was playing dumb so's he didn't have to talk to the Giant Big Nose Gaijin... My resolution to this obvious failure of diplomacy was to start doing what most Ugly Americans do, and that start speaking in increasing volume until I was screaming in his face. (It always cracks me up that some Americans in real life do this whole 'they don't understand so I'll scream it at them and then they'll get it' thing works.) Screaming in this dudes face left me feeling pretty satisified, especially since the liver and onions I had for lunch was decently represented. Take that ya sneaky Jap! Remember Pearl Harbort and all that other crap !!!

Now, needless to say, I'm in shift/change mode now. Iraq... Fucking Iraq...

A horrid place when last I left... befouled air stinking of burning trash and the fetid stench of unwashed Dirty Hajji. An open sore of a country, Iraq represents to me how far a 'First World' Country can fall, and how fast. Now granted, its been almost 2 years since I last rolled in, but I figure it couldn't have changed too much. Supposedly the security has changed, but the first thing that I'm going to do on hitting ground (besides verify that the Duty Free at BIAP is operational) is go see my bro Slim out at 5th Group and retrieve some firepower. If anything I want to have at least my AK or at the minimum a sidearm available. What normal person goes around Baghdad unarmed? Not this Boy let me tell you. When I left Slim had stashed and cached an big ole pile of the Big Country's Firepower. It's time to retrieve that.

So anyhow... it's a good thing I resigned the other day, leastways it makes me feel better to know if the fuzz beat my door down whilst I'm writing and also getting hammered that they ain't gonna do shit to me.

"Hammered Big Country? You ain't supposed to be doing that!"

Yes yes Dear Reader... I said to hell with it... its a Day Off, and a Payday for that matter, so it was only fair that seeing that I'm on the tail end of my tour here, that I have a little one-on-one celebration with some Windex thats called Siddique. Pronounced "Sid-Deek Key" its the Kuwaiti version of Bore Cleaner... Leastways thats how its tasting... or at least thats how it tasted when my tonsils were still operational... as of now I could probably stub a lit cigar out on my tongue and not feel it. Of course, stubbing a lit butt anywhere near my mouth might result in an explosion that blows my fucking head off, so I think I'll pass on that parlor trick for now. It's a entertaining sort of buzz... the kind that leaves you wanting to either pass out, or in my case have out-of-body rushes. I'd definitely recommend it over a NyQuil Buzz, or for that matter the Dreaded "Robo" or "Deadly DM." But more to the point I'd much rather have so Beam or even some Bombay, and I'm not much of a gin drinker. My best bet is to just enjoy what I go while I got it, and roll as they say LOL! Realistically, it's the local moonshine. Seeings how my own personal attempt at still production/beverage making ended up on the ceiling and walls of my kitchen, never mind the funk of the yeast mix that gagged me out for a week, I figgered on just buying the local brand and going for it. Considering that I've been pretty much a 'good boy' in avoiding the Black Market here in Kuwait, I entrusted a colleage to 'fill my order' so to speak. I also very generously allowed him first dibs on a glass full, and when he didn't die or go blind, I figured it was cool to booze it up myself. (Remember Dear Reader, always have a guinea pig available in Third World Countries... Take that as the "IR Travel Tip O The Day")

So that'll wrap it up, sort of like me, for now. The next installment will probably be "Siddique: The Hangover That Melted My Skull" so stay tooned.

Monday, September 22, 2008

A Slow Night...

...and I'm waiting on a new job. I recently got lucky... I got TWO job offers and I'm now in 'open debate mode' over which one I want to do. In a nutshell, one job takes me to "The Land of the Rising Sun," and the other takes me back to "The Land of The Living Shitstain" named Iraq. Yep. One of the gigs, the most recent offers me big money to climb back aboard a C-130 and fly my fat happy ass back up to Iraq and go back to work at The Baghdad Cafe, formerly known as The Saddam-A-Go-Go. The gig is right up my alley in Logistics and even IT, seeings that they need a geek with the ability to move and track equipment. Not a bad gig to say the least. The pay is good, but it's only for a year. The Japan Job offers a four year option, which loosely translates in contractor-speak to 'career.' That and it's not in any wide open shooting galley, although reports from up North these days tend to lean towards a more mellow atmosphere. Me, I could give a damn. Mortars, Rockets, hell... random Sniper fire... been there, done that, carry some extra shrapnel because of it. I'm not worried about the war aspect of it, but mainly the fact that since things ARE winding down and the US Army is starting to pull back a bit, I tend to worry about being caught out without a job. My main concern is that the Army, in it's infinate wisdom, decides that they don't need Contractor "X" "y" and "Z" and have cut the funding and "don't let the door hit out on the ass on the way out."

I've had that happen before. It's not pretty, and comes without warning. The Big Guy, be it a VP or some other Corporate Zombie shows up and "Hey y'all have done a bang up job! You can be proud of the work you've accomplished, but as of X day, the contract is done. Thanks for coming!" Having heard that speech once was enough thank you very mucho. The way I'm looking at it currently is that the Japan Job may not pay A LOT but it's at least with a company that has been around for like EVER, and because of the inherent instability of the contracting world, I'm tempted to stick with going to Tokyo Joe's Bar N Grill for the next 4 years. At least there I'll be able to have some new adventures with a new culture, and man... I'm sure being a 6 foot 4 inch 320 pound Gaijin is going to be plenty fodder for my IR Reports. I mean hell, when I go around here locally, the fucking Arabs freak over how big this whiteboy is... I can only imagine how the Japs are going to react if I go that route.

This however opens new levels of concern. Are the roofs going to be high enough? How about doorways? Would I be doomed to wearing a helmet in order to avoid further brain damage? Lord knows the old grey matter isn't what it used to be, and I really don't want to be trudging around in a semi-permanant stoop, but judging from all things Japanese, I'm thinking this could be a Giant in MidgetLand scenario. I mean really... walking into a doorframe is something that I've experienced only once or twice, well... ok more than that, but it's not like I PLANNED on caving in my casaba on the damned doorframe. One time I rang my bell hard enough to knock myself full out on my ass... and left me with what could be generously refered to as a 'knot' on my nugget. These are aspects I'm going to have to take into consideration. That and the food. Japan is all about seafood and other bizarre food issues, to include raw everything. I've never cottoned onto sushi, but if I go that route, I got a hunch it'll be either sushi or one extremely hardcore diet that I'll be on.

Anyways, it's a quiet night here, and I'm all about quiting this current lame ass gig, so as of tommorow, I'll drop my resignation, and hopefully make a decision on Tokyo or Baghdad int he next few weeks.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Decisions Decisions Decisions

Well enough 'stuff' has happened over the past few days to take any beliefs that I might have had as to the decency or 'common good' that anyone on the Left side of the Political spectrum might have had and finished it. They pretty much made me think that at this point, it's a good thing I'm not in charge as I'd have to declare open season on quite a number of people and put a bounty on the heads of many of the 'talking heads' on the Left. Bounties that would require proof of demise. No "bring 'em back alive" allowed. Preferably skins and scalps. I mean after all, if all of us "bitter clingy gunowners" are such unmitigated murderous dirtbags as the left would portray us as, I'd say that we ought to go out and fulfill some of their mindless rants and fantasies with some good old fashioned ass-kicking reality.

Anyways... enough on that. I think that anyone with any level of brains will vote correctly, I.E. None of the Above on election day... wouldn't that be great? I mean with the exception of Palin (who I think is a total hottie) the rest of them are more of the same. Even McCain... ALL of them are fucking worthless. I just have a special place in my heart and on my rifle range for people of the Leftist Extraction. Even my Dad has been sipping the Kool Aid this year... he goes from one extreme to the next. But anyways.

"So then Big Country... just who should we be voting for?"

Glad you asked that my friend. How about Christopher Walken?
I mean hell... Why not? There's even a website that was put together a while back I mean why the hell not? Who was Ronald Reagan but a former actor? And he turned out to be one of the greatest presidents of all time. I mean hell... look at the picture... gravitas to spare man! I mean even About dot com did a review of the website and then had a poll which kind of sheds light on the electorate is feeling these days.I mean out of over 3800 people who voted (as seen on the screenshot I grabbed right below) That over 3005 of them would vote for Chris right now. Its not often you see this kind of numbers in polling. Now, granted, the polling here is about as non-scientific as you can get, but hell... lets face it. Right now the Obamamessiah and 'Mad Dog' McCain are literally neck-and-neck inthe polls, and seem to be staying that way. There's no clear cut winner as of now, and unless someone gets caught either raping or murdering (or both at the same time) the votes are going to be split pretty evenly, which is going to open a WHOLE other can o' worms when the lawyers and assorted race barons and douchebags come leaping out to play in the post election fray.

Mark my words: The post election of 2008 is going to be a racially oriented and lawyer bloodbath, if not physically, then metaphorically. The Obama folks are going to be crying (as they already have) "Racism" at every corner and use it as a blunt instrument to get the election won in their favor. It's really too bad that we can't really get Walken to be 'drafted' into the Presidency.
I've always been a fan of his dating back to one of his earliest works "The Dog of War" where he plays a mercenary who violently overthrows a small African nation. Huh... now that I think about it, how appropo that that was one of my earliest "fave movies." Just look at the line of work I'm in now!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Got Debt?

Well... as the smoke begins to clear in New York City and the Wall Street folks are sitting sort of pat... everyone is still waiting to see what the latest collapse brings forth. Lehman Brothers, an investment bank of 150 + years of doing biddness is D.O.A. and along with it a HUGE chunk of money and a lot of peoples retirements as well. Now, Me, I'm not very savvy when it comes to these here eco-nomical kind of things. I do know however that even a redneck like myself sees that a Bank that survived the 1929 Collapse and subsequent Great Depression get flushed out this early on shows that things ain't quite right. I mean realistically, back in July when Bear-Sterns got wiped out I figured that it might be a good idea to keep a bit of cash on hand, and make sure that I don't have any money in ANY markets. I mean it's bad Karma when you see these defaults and essentially the begining of the Economic End so to speak. In what I'm calling "The Greater Collapse" this all is going to become waaaaaaaaaay worse before it gets better.

My prediction? I'd say that by the first week of October we'll be seeing the final fraying of the economy. My reasoning? Well, the end of the Economic/Fiscal Year. Yup. Figure that the past three quarters have been essentially ending in a flood of red ink, and that the final report card for the economy is due the last week of September to the first week of October. THIS is going to be the REAL "October Surprise" that kicks the country in the metaphysical nut sack. The amount of layoffs, bank collapses, 'ghost money' (more on that in a minute) and the unrealistic expectations that the economy could continue to run off of ever increasing consumer debt are going to boil up in a major meltdown thats going to make 1929 look like a love tap.

The 'ghost money' is the term that I use to describe just about ALL the money thats on the 'books' so to speak. I mean to give an example, My house I own in Florida we bought (foolishly) at the height of the Housing Bubble and we got it for around $240K. Now, my loan is for $240K PLUS interest. The interest itself is like 4 times the value of the loan. This, to me is 'ghost money.' It doesn't really exist UNTIL such time as I pay the bank. Until that cash is in their greedy grasping claws, they SHOULDN'T be counting it towards the values on their books. BUT... this is EXACTLY what these guys have been doing... counting my loan as if it was worth One point Two Mil and some change... they then bundled all of these loans up and sold them as 'securities'... secure my ass. Anyways, we all know what the problem is.. it's the solutions that you have to bear in mind.

I mean right now, the current two jokers running for president don't seem to understand that this is going to implode in a way that couldn't be imagined. Obama's Idea is to Tax and Regulate... more Government. Like this wasn't what we had going on to begin with? Hey... genius... it's not the 1960's anymore and Taxing the Top 25% is what Hoover tried in 1929 and 1930... and look where that got us. McCain wants to try and clean up and get rid a lot of the 'overregulation' but even then, this isn't going to stop the eventual collapse. McCain is hoping that a band aid on a sucking chest wound will take care of it. Hey Old Dude... no freakin' way man.

The fact is that the feds have been pumping insane amounts of liquidity into the markets to keep it afloat. Essentially they've been printing up more actual paper money to replace the 'ghost money' but in the process, they've devalued the dollar to the point that I'm trying to get paid in Kuwait Dinar.

My advice? Look to having a couple of months of food on hand, some good seed and a couple of good long guns on hand. I mean who knows where this carousel is going to stop? I foresee an eventual contraction of society. Nothin overly dramatic, just a period of insane unrest, figure about a year or so, and then a slow rebuild much like what went on in the mid 30's. Lots of relocation, lots of uprooting of people, and a revaluation of money and assets. My only hope is that it doesn't got full-out-Mad Max mode. THAT in a word, would suck. Me, well, lets just say that the Boy Scout Motto is in full effect in my house. Its a major part of the reason I follow this so closely, because if it DOES go into full on meltdown mode, I've got to try to get the hell out of Dodge ASAP. Which is what the majority of investors on Wall Street seem to be doing as well. Anyways... More Later.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I Need a Drink Part II

OK... a couple of you emailed me asking:

"Big Country... Why don't you just have someone mail you some booze?"

Well... Valid point. A favorite way of getting illicit hootch over here, many people including myself have been the recipients of "Care Packages" of "Liquid Love" as I like to think of it. Well all fine and dandy... theres a dozen ways to ship hootch... one of my faves is the "Substitute the Scope" game, whereby the sender replaces a jug of Scope Mouth Wash with a quality Vodka dyed with the appropriate color, be it minty green to cool refreshing blue. The only problem is getting the jug that contained the scope to be mouthwash free before reloading it with Vodka. From painful first hand experience I can tell you that if the mouthwash isn't completely cleaned out, it will give the vodka a 'cool minty' aftertaste that results in a heartburn that feels like Satan himself is trying to burn his way out from your chest. It's not much fun to be having a "...double shot of Smirnoff with a maalox chaser" let me tell you. Makes for a really vicious hangover too.

Other mailing attempts have included the "Lets put Grain Alcohol in a Rubbing Alcohol Bottle!" This is good and bad in two parts. It's a perfect disguise. Perhaps a bit too perfect. So good in that no one suspects that the alcohol in the plastic jug is potable. So bad ALSO in that no one suspects that the alcohol in the plastic jug is potable. I found myself having to desperately convince my friend that I HADN'T gone around the Booze-Hound Bend and that I WASN'T drinking Isopropyl on the Rocks, with a Twist. This while the bastard was about to pour said 190 proof Hootch into the toilet "for my own good." After a prolonged wrestling match and finally after swearing on the Eternal Soul of my Mother (sorry Mom!) did he relent and let me show him the enclosed letter explaining that I needed to drink this particular jug, rather than use it to sooth my razor burn. (In reality, it could have done both!)

The real reason I'm well behaved is that as of July here in Kuwait the Local Yokels and County Mounties have gotten themselves a new toy. One that allows them to pretty much smell booze in a sealed package. This in turn led to the single largest bust in the history of the Army Support Group here and to the point they even took pictures for posterity. That and they just wanted to tease us and show how much Booze they busted. As you can see...

...I'm sure that the MP brigade on post had one hell of a party. 90 1.75 Liters of Hootch... 66 Bottles of Vodka and the rest was Jack and Jim, respectively. We're talking "Booze Baron" levels a.k.a Homer Simpson on the amounts. And this was only because of the new handy dandy XRay Toy that the military just picked up.

To give a rough approximation, according to sources, The Black Market Value of just one jug of Jack is like anywhere from 200 to 350 US Dollars. Yeah... banning it made it a real commodity on the Black Market. My guess is that this particular batch was worth around twenty grand on the low side in resale value. Needless to say, I may want to make cash, but not at the risk of getting caught. Here in Kuwait I heard that the jail cells aren't very large... just large enough for you and your cellmate to get to know each other 'intimately.' So no thanks on that.

Me, I'll wait til November when I go on R&R.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Man, I Need a Drink

This was me back during my trip to Egypt last summer. Egypt, despite it's Islamic Background still maintains a bit of common sense and has legal Booze. Suffice to say you can tell by the look on my face that the only thing on my mind was getting pie-eyed toute-suite. Needless to say about 4.5 seconds after my buddy snapped this photo I was neck deep swigging from a jug of Jose Cuervo 1800 Silver Patron and well on my way to a coma.

Such which leads me into today's subject. I need a drink... dying for a drink actually. It makes me really wonder what is on the minds of the Kuwaitis maintaining this 11th Century approach to Law and Order. This country, which prides itself on its Islamic Approach to Law, (dubbed Sharia) leaves itself open to being the biggest bunch of fucking HYPOCRITES that I've ever seen.

"Hypocrites Big Country? Whatever do you mean?"

Well, let me see... for one instance that leaps to mind was the drunk ass Camel Jockey who rammed into my SUV back last Decemeber, leaving me with an extra set of screws, plates, and pins that I wasn't originally issued with. I mean it was nice and all to accessorize, but I already had a 'donation' of extra metal courtesy the Iraqi Insurgent Bastards and the Chinese mortars that they threw at me back in '04. How do I know he was a drunk Camel Jockey you ask? Well... the fact is that immeadiately AFTER the wreck, (DCJ as I'll refer to him as henceforth) DCJ's buddies rolled up in another car and like immeadiately emptied the trunk of his wrecked ride... said things being removed in question being shaped like cases of Johnny Walker and clinking like cases of Johnny Walker, and with labels that to a suspicious person might have even read "Johnny Walker" to an astute observer. According to other witnesses, even a couple of handguns were pulled out... me... I only remember the booze and remember how pissed I was that this joker had enough hootch on board to float one hell of a party. Since then, I've been told that BECAUSE he was hauling booze, literally a "rum runner" this's why I never had any further legal action taken either for me or against me.

Yeah... it seems that the reason I didn't get hauled off in front of a magistrate to answer for being an Infidel Driving Recklessly is that I got clowned by someone who was probably 'connected.' Such is life in the Hypocritical Middle East. He was probably hauling the hootch for someone 'important' and therefore, we'll just forget this ever happened ok?

Yeah. I was advised that trying to sue this POS would have meant having it judged in front of a Sharia Court... which means I'd be lucky to NOT get sued back, and never mind being found guilty of being "a Pork Eating Crusader Infidel with Intent to Defame Islam" or some other bullshit like that. Yeah... the deck is stacked against me in a major way. Such is the tear that I'm on.

Specifically, I'm thirsty as hell. I's been since I was home in July since I sipped the 'Nectar of The Gods' and I'm cranky because of it. My liver is so bored it's been taking a brewmaster correspondance course and the kidneys are getting tired of processing just water and soda. It's enough to make a guy think about taking up a hobby. Maybe smoking? Probably not. I mean hell, at least back in Iraq I had hootch. Acres of Hootch. At one point the Countries INC. had a store room liberally stocked with over 20 cases of Heineken Tall Boys and about 5 cases of mixed liquors. I mean the only thing I had to risk in buying the hootch in Baghdad was a life-endangering ride up Route Irish to the deal with the Jordanian Mafia. I mean compared to this, it was a piece of cake.

I've intentionally NOT gotten involved with the boozer scene here in Kuwait. I'll just have to suck it up until my next R&R or next job... whichever comes first.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

And the Beat(ing) Goes On.

Seems that no matter which way I turn, the Obamanation keeps on rolling with it's usual punches. Between Axelrod refering to the McCain campaign as the "sleaziest" in recent history, or the usual gaffs that "Slow Joe" has managed, the Obama Campaign is showing itself to be either completely fucking clueless or is trying to run what I'd say is the dirtiest campaign I've ever seen. For Axelrod to call the McCain Campaign dirty make me want to say "Pot... this is the Kettle You're......(fill in appropriate blank)........" Mind you... if I complete this phrase, then I'm deemed (or anyone who completes it according to the Obamabots) a RACIST. Never mind that it's an accurate representation of the issue... just that they want to be able to use the "New-KEWL-Lar Option" of the 'race card.'

Which is what I think they WANT the McCain Campaign to do. I mean really... making fun of McCain for not being able to use a computer? Especially when in 2 minutes of a 'Google Search' ANYONE can find a link to the story in the Boston Globe stating implicitly that
“McCain’s severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard, or tying his shoes.”
I mean it's either cluelessness, or a planned instigation. Part of me wants to say that this is an intentional ratcheting up of rhetoric. I mean lets face it... supposedly all of Barry's people are pros. They've been around. They also know that McCain has had a reputation for shall we say "Anger Management Issues" in the past? What if this is all a plan to slowly push him to a detonation? I mean it sort of fits with modus operandii of the Democrats these days. Push McCain into a fit of pique and make sure the cameras are rolling. I mean the amount of "Gotcha" attempts against McCain and Palin have been unreal.

From Whoopie "Cushion" Goldberg on "The View" asking if she had to worry about being a slave again. Note to Whoopie: You are a multi-millionaire comediane (not in my book mind you) who's NEVER been anyone's slave... to imply such insults all of your ancestors, never mind having insulted John McCain with a vicious attack that he couldn't possibly defend against in a public forum that BaBaWaWa then went and backed you on... Throw in "The Atlantics" photos of McCain that make him look like some 'supervillian' and man, how much more do you need? How about 'Gibson's Gaffe' against Palin by way of manipulating her interview footage, to Randi Rhodes coming out from under her rock and laying into Palin in ways that could get you sued for libel... I'm telling you. These deluded assholes have me in a burn. It's amazing how they trash out all these people because they don't agree with their opinions on how the world should be.

I mean my God... if things were TRULY as bad as these Libtards and Dummycrats are spouting, well hell... lets face it. They wouldn't be spouting it because the Secret Police would have already rounded them up, marked them AND their families for death (not a bad idea in many respects) and trucked them off to those 'secret concentration camps that exist in the deserts of Arizona'... right next to the New World Order Black Helicopter Airport and the "United Nations" Force that is here to keep order when George Bush declares himself "King George the First."

See where I'm going with this?

Irrational Liberal Hatred seems to be becoming a genuine problem, if not an actual disease. Between "Bush Derangement Syndrome" and it's offshoot, "Palin Derangement Syndrome" and with less than 52 days +/- til the election, I got a hunch it's gonna be a lot uglier a lot sooner...

It's Not Always Politics...'s also going to be my Travelog as well. Today was (Allah Be Praised!) My one day off that I get during the week. The work schedule tends to be hectic as all hell. Six days a week, Twelve hours a day, Total Enslavement. The 12 a day sounds bad, but is way worse when you figure that I'm having to actually CLOCK 12 hours... which means prep time, washing my nasty and commute time isn't counted. The day works out to being almost 18 hours long when I'm done.

Occasionally I get to go out... like today. I went down to the harbor to take some pictures with a buddy of mine and to see what was up before the heat of the day kicked in.
All in all, not a bad place. Just HOT. Like HOT HOT. I mean so hot my feet were being baked in my sneakers hot. The soles of my Adidas are/were an inch and a half thick. This picture was taken at 830am Local... it was approximately 127 degrees Fahrenheit. I could feel my tootsies being baked by the sun-drenched concrete I was standing on. Needless to say......I found some shade with a mega-quickness. This was provided at the Mall across from the nice harbor area. The Kuwaitis have malls everywhere. Every inch of retail space in Kuwait consists on malls or Suks. Pronounced "Soo-ooks", the Suk is a leftover of "The Good Old Days" that you see in 'Arabian Nights' or even in the Market scene in 'Indiana Jones.' There's only one Suk in Fahaheel, but I prefer to hit the malls as you don't get pestered by the salesmen chasing you down the street and alley with "Verry Good Barrrgain Meesta!!"This picture here shows my good friend Brian inside the Fahaheel Suk. If you look closely in the background you can see one of the local "Ninja Wimmen" walking around in full Islam Gear. Makes for an in teresting comparison when walking around in 130 Degree heat and seeing some poor chick walking around in 100% Black heavy layered fucking snowsuits eh? As you can imagine, Women's Liberation ain't got much traction hereabouts. The main reason is...
...everywhere you go, there's a Mosque. This one is ATTACHED to the back of the Mall that we were at. How many Churches in the States can say that they are part of the Great Consumer Movement in the US? Not many I reckon.

Anyways, for fun on the way home I noticed this one place that I HAD to take a picture of. Seems that a lot of businesses get their translation done by the same guy who does it in China. The picture I have below is of a Hair Salon... But man... what a bad job at translating they did on this one...
...Yeah... "The Bland Saloon." I really want to get my hair cut there right? And whats with the picture of the guy? Is it me, or does it look like "Evil Brandon" from 'Beverly Hills 90210' or something? I mean what a pug on that face, never mind that do you really want to get yer hair cut at a place that prides itself on being "bland?" Yeah... God love it... That'll do for now.

Friday, September 12, 2008

You do Photoshop your Way...

...and I'll do My Way... After all, It's the 'Chicago Way.' (hat tip to Confederate Yankee for the Quote)

Yes... it's kind of stuck in my head the way that the Obamabots been so active with using Palin's head on that skank's body with the air rifle (among others I've seen), so tonight while surfing around and reading, I realized that I had the perfect idea for both an article AND a "Photoshop Moment."

Yeah... I think it's rather appropriate seeings that this is THE exact question Barry and Co. are going to be asking over the next few weeks. The "Slamfest" that they started on Governor Palin snowballed into something that they themselves never envisioned. It's become the uncontrolable monster so to speak, in that they had hoped to control the Narrative, just like they have with Barry's story. Instead it's damaging their 'Chosen One' and causing chaos. Barry has now been, by my count, on the defensive for about a week and half, and his polling has been tanking when compared to two months ago. The concept that the Obamamites thought that they could either subtley or in most cases not-so-subtley attack a Mother of Five whos credentials equal or even exceed their candidates was preposterous on it's face.

The basic issue is that they thought that they had the "Woman's Vote" locked up by merit of being 'progressives' and 'liberal' in itself. I think the term is 'Hubris' in this instance. The presumption that "just because they have in the past" should not mean you take them (meaning the female vote) for granted. In this case Janet Jackson's song "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" comes leaping to mind, especially when dealing with a group as touchy as Women Voters.

"Big Country! You SEXIST PIG!"

Well, more like a chauvanist pig, thank you very much. My wife, Household Six even agrees that I'm one of the last "He Man Macho Men" rolling. Of course I think that its more appropriate for her to not work and be a full time mother at home while I earn the cash to run the house. I also don't separate colors when, on the rare occasion that I do laundry, and I'm happier for it. As far as Women Voters, I've been exposed to waaaaaaaaay too much of that shit when I was a child. My Mom was a big-time "League of Women Voters" activist and HUGELY into politics when I was a kid. My Dad with his rather twisted sense of humor would refer to it as the "League of Wimmen Vultures" as the majority of them weren't none too good looking. Mom was so into it that she'd draft my brother and me to help campaign for (UGH!!!) Ted Kennedy back in 1980 or something like that. She figured using us to hand out flyers and such because we were still in 'cute kid mode' that we'd have a better chance to get the vote out. Whatever. I remember that every election year my house that I grew up in became a madhouse of long haired volunteers sleeping on the floor, mass mailings and obscure rallys late into the evening. No wonder I became a Republican... and psychotic to boot.

Either way, I'd say that despite the denials of the Obamanoids, Palin's Candidacy has really fired up women everywhere. Obama had hoped to get the Hillaroid Voters to jump on his bandwagon, but because of the "Palin Gambit" (similar to a Hail Mary in football) the McCain Campaign has taken a major lead in the polls, and might be able to crest this to November if they play it smart. Because of the 'lack of class' and sexist approach that the Barryfolk took towards Governor Palin, and thereby women in general, well, frankly it can't be recalled... unlike Biden.

Which in itself is becoming a real posibility. However, if they DO recall 'Slow Joe' and attempt to re-instate Hillary, then the Obama Campaign will be finished. After all, who's to say Hillary would even be willing to be 'sloppy seconds' in a desperate attempt to mend fences? I'm sure she wouldn't. Her best move will be to sit pat, keep quiet, let Obama and his Obamanoids flounder and flop like a fish out of water for the next 5 weeks, and allow McCain to be a one-term Presidency and attempt to jump in in 2012. Joe however isn't helping matters. His best bet to stay on the ticket would be to volunteer to have a laryngectomy performed. Hopefully he won't though, as he's providing enough fodder for late night humor TV for the next generation or so.

Obama's Thin Skin

Nevermind the color... it would seem that the Man Who Would Be is a bit 'thin skinned' as it were. The Mainstream Media has done a great job of covering for him, but I realized today that he's just NOT Presidential Material.

"Why Big Country! You RACIST!"

Well, nope. I'm not. Far from it. I'm a realist. Right now has it occurred to anyone (and I know it has) that Old Barry is a bit "Over The Top" on his defensiveness and attacks on the VICE-Presidential pick? Shouldn't Ole Barry be a bit more concerned with the Presidential competition? He and his more rabid supporters have been going pretty much nonstop since the announcement and Sarah Palin's speech. It would seem that he's a bit too...shall we say obsessed? with his constant hammering and he's been revealing a bit too much of himself in a negative fashion.

Between his failure to be either gracious and/or congratulatory at the announcement of Governor Palin becoming the VP candidate, and his rather poor attacks attempting to belittle her achievements, (he only mentioned her being a mayor of a small town), he's done gone and shot himself in the foot continuously. His deployment of a squad of lawyers to Alaska to 'dig dirt' on her is just awful. If McCain did this, the media would be screaming from their ivory towers: "Hangin's too good for 'im!" Obama's inability to get past this, and his obvious sexist attitude (which the media has continually given him a pass on) is showing on all levels... and as we're seeing in the polls and in his money donations falling, this is translating to lost support.

His continual harping on how "She's just a continuation of Bush's Policies" and his near-tantrum of "But I'm the real agent for change!!!" is more suited to my 7 year old daughter throwing a fit when she doesn't get her pick for the movie on Friday night, rather than of a Presidential Nominee.

It's downright embarassing.

And the American Public has noticed.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Seven Years...

OK... in keeping with the 'General Mood' of things, I'll comment for a bit on the whole '9/11' thing. Simply put: We've been at war for seven years now... a War against an Idea. An Ideological War if you will... It's not a war of conquering territory or a people, although to hear the pundits and politicians talk of it, it's all about Bin Laden or his Al Queda folks. Others propogate the idea that the War is against Iraq/Iran/or "Fill in the Blank Country of your Choice." In reality we're dealing with a War of Ideas, which when you get down to it is all a Religion is. This is that we're fighting in a battle of 'hearts and minds' so to speak. This war, while the current battles may take place in a city in Iraq or on the open plains or mountains of Afghanistan, is still basically a battle between beliefs systems.

Lets call it what it is: "My Invisible Man in the Sky is BETTER than your Invisible Man in the Sky."

I mean realistically, religion, or at least the IDEA of religion is a theoretical idea of a "higher power" that has omniscient powers and is 'in charge' of the Universe and created everything everywhere and knows everything. I'm not dogging religion per se, in as much as the concept of organized religion. Organized religion, according to my Late Great Grandfather began when the first Con Man met the First Fool. Essentially the Con Man was able to get the Fool to believe that he (the Con Man) was in communication with the "Higher Power" (usually referred to as God) and subsequently, the Fool should support/feed/pay the Con Man "because God wants you to." This leads me back to my original issue.

This war is a War of Ideas. At the current rate we're going, we're never going to stop battling these people as long as they believe that they are fighting for the "Glory of their Chosen God." The one thing we'd have to do is start thinking of this as more of a psychological war. Treat these people like cultists, rather than as enemy combatants. I'd have to say, the idea is that I think we need to look at 'deprogramming them' more than killing them on the battlefield. Not saying that we shouldn't be killing the ones who are 'far gone' that is... if they're dumb enough and violent enough to pick up an AK and go after American troops, then they get what they deserve. Its that we need to start getting them, deprogramming them, while they are young.

For instance, the Al Jazeera TV network and the West Bank television programming include a regular set of early morning kids shows. Normally not a problem, but the fact is that they use the most graphic propoganda to instill hatred of Jews and Infidels in these kids shows. In my own humble (not so much) opinion, if I were in charge, the first thing I'd do is drop a BLU-96 Fuel Air Explosive on any and all transmission stations and the TV station itself. I'd set up jammers and block any and all forms of 'hate TV' from being broadcast. These people start by programming the kids when they are too young to either know better or defend themselves against this brainwashing. Everyone wonders why, that by the age of 18, the majority of Palestinian males are clinically depressed. Well, possibly the fact that from from the time they are born they are told that Martyrdom is the best thing they can hope for, that they have no country or hope while the Infidels keep them down, and that they are subject to all these cockamamie rules that goes along with their religion. Its bad enough being an American teen with NORMAL angst, but can you imagine being a Palestinian? Where your parents' one fond hope is that you blow yourself up and take a pile of infidels with you? "Gee mom... Thanks!"

Talk about a sick fucking culture.

When I was 18, all I wanted to worry about was getting laid, that new zit on my forehead before the prom, and if I'd have enough gas money to party on the weekend. These kids are programmed from birth to be the 'new martyrs.' They haven't had the chance to realize that life has a lot more going for it than death. I mean until someone shows up with proof positive of an afterlife, I'd be really hesitant to go blowing myself to pieces.

Hell... you'd think that common sense should be breaking out at some point in that if someone came up and asked me to be a Suicide Bomber that you'd ask them "If it's so good to be a martyr, then why don't YOU go and do it?" At that point you should expect the usual hemming and hawing worthy of a politician. Not with these people. They really think that what they are doing is 'blessed' by their God, and that what they are doing is righteous.

When I was in Baghdad in 2004 at the beginning of the Insurgency.. this was when all of the 'firebrand' Mullahs (preists in Islam) were talking up taking up arms against the 'Crusaders' and 'Infidels'... One of my Iraqi friends told me that by allowing these guys to hype up the locals, the military was essentially shooting itself in the foot. His advice (which no one listened to) was to round up the Anti-American Mullahs and publically execute them in a gruesome public fashion and leave the bodies in a public display as a warning to the rest. "Leave them for the crows." he told me. A few months later when we were in what essentially was a shooting war again, I saw Mohamned as he was preparing to pull out for Jordan. "You Americans are too soft to be here." he told me. "As long as you try to treat these people as equals, you will never be able to stop them."

It comes down to that after seven years of conventional war, we need to start rethinking this. The standard "Bomb 'em into the Stone Age" doesn't really work when the bad guys already live at a Hunter-Gatherer level just outside the Neolithic. I'd say we need to try something different... because those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.

OK Theres a First Time for Everything...

...and I figured after about five or so years of bullshitting around, I should actually try posting the various insane ramblings that I've been taken to writing and put them 'out there' for the general reading audience.
For those of you joining for the first time, let me introduce myself. I'm Big Country, my nom-de-guerre as it were, that was given to me by one of my old bosses back in Iraq in 2004. I've been bouncing around the Middle East since the beginning of 2004, and have had quite the number of adventures, most of which I've written in the form of outrageous and politically incorrect emails to my friends and family. One of them hung the nickname of "The Intrepid Reporter" on me, and I've used that as my signature line for my emails ever since. In a thumbnail, I'm a 38 year old prior service vet of the U.S. Army with a backround in the Airborne Infantry, Armor and Logistics. I was a member of the famed 101st Airborne Division and also a member of the First Cavalry Division. I've got some Special Ops background too, but I can't talk about that, 'cause then I'd have to kill you. I'm currently married and have two children who probably wonder who Dad is, seeings that I'm only home 3 weeks out of the year. My long-suffering Wife, Household Six, tolerates me mainly because:

A) I send a LARGE paycheck home and
B) I'm not there making messes and being in her way.

If you are offended easily or are 'faint of heart' so to speak, then you DO NOT want to continue reading this. I'm opinionated, loud, obnoxious, and generally prefer to do my writing under the influence of chemicals, be they legal or, seeings that I'm in Kuwait EVERYTHING is illegal. I'm an equal-opportunity offender. I offend EVERYONE at one point or another. My Mother says that politically, I'm to the right of Himmler, and that I swear too much, but hey, fuck it. I can't please everyone.
Currently I'm by a "Company That Shall Remain Nameless" seeings that the chickenshit bastards would probably fire me for spilling the beans of what a fantastic rail-job they've been pulling on me AND Uncle Sam. Either way, I'm still in Kuwait and enduring the whole fucking "Religion of Peace that is Islam"


Oh? Did that slip out? Oops. Yeah... I may as well get that off my chest early. I'm currently dealing with Kuwait and "The Religion of Peace" TM. It's Ramadan, and that generally means that despite being a Neo-Catholic/Christian like myself, I have to follow the 'Local Rules' that the Mullahs and every other whackadoo are currently following. For the remainder of the month, there's no Food, Water, Sex, Boozing (not thats allowed anyways), Smoking or just about any other 'normal human activity' allowed during the time from sun up, to sun down. No wonder these people are poopy so much eh? Literally, they fast from oh-dark-early in the morning til oh-dark-late in the evening. Then they throw down and pig the fuck out until they go to bed. Even though I'm NOT a member of their, but because I'm in a Sharia Run country, I'm expected/told that I WILL follow the Ramadan Rules OR ELSE!
Yep. Failure to comply will get you hemmed up and put in the slam. Makes me wonder where the fucking "Freedom From Religion" folks or Micheal Newdow or those other assholes from the NAACP or whoever the hell it is who tries like hell to banish all forms of religion from public view in the US? Oh yes... thats right... if they tried their crap here, they'd be lucky to escape with their heads still attached to their bodies... anyways...
Yes, I'm here for the 'now' as they say. I have no choice seeings that I'm waiting on a new contract, one that will HOPEFULLY, like Calgon, Take Me Away... to Japan no less. Then I'll be able to Blog about my experience with the Japanese culture, and insult the hell out of it while having my adventures there.

So this will be my latest, and hopefully regular update for you all. Stay Tuned!
Until later, I remain, The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country