I Need a Drink Part II

OK... a couple of you emailed me asking:

"Big Country... Why don't you just have someone mail you some booze?"

Well... Valid point. A favorite way of getting illicit hootch over here, many people including myself have been the recipients of "Care Packages" of "Liquid Love" as I like to think of it. Well all fine and dandy... theres a dozen ways to ship hootch... one of my faves is the "Substitute the Scope" game, whereby the sender replaces a jug of Scope Mouth Wash with a quality Vodka dyed with the appropriate color, be it minty green to cool refreshing blue. The only problem is getting the jug that contained the scope to be mouthwash free before reloading it with Vodka. From painful first hand experience I can tell you that if the mouthwash isn't completely cleaned out, it will give the vodka a 'cool minty' aftertaste that results in a heartburn that feels like Satan himself is trying to burn his way out from your chest. It's not much fun to be having a "...double shot of Smirnoff with a maalox chaser" let me tell you. Makes for a really vicious hangover too.

Other mailing attempts have included the "Lets put Grain Alcohol in a Rubbing Alcohol Bottle!" This is good and bad in two parts. It's a perfect disguise. Perhaps a bit too perfect. So good in that no one suspects that the alcohol in the plastic jug is potable. So bad ALSO in that no one suspects that the alcohol in the plastic jug is potable. I found myself having to desperately convince my friend that I HADN'T gone around the Booze-Hound Bend and that I WASN'T drinking Isopropyl on the Rocks, with a Twist. This while the bastard was about to pour said 190 proof Hootch into the toilet "for my own good." After a prolonged wrestling match and finally after swearing on the Eternal Soul of my Mother (sorry Mom!) did he relent and let me show him the enclosed letter explaining that I needed to drink this particular jug, rather than use it to sooth my razor burn. (In reality, it could have done both!)

The real reason I'm well behaved is that as of July here in Kuwait the Local Yokels and County Mounties have gotten themselves a new toy. One that allows them to pretty much smell booze in a sealed package. This in turn led to the single largest bust in the history of the Army Support Group here and to the point they even took pictures for posterity. That and they just wanted to tease us and show how much Booze they busted. As you can see...

...I'm sure that the MP brigade on post had one hell of a party. 90 1.75 Liters of Hootch... 66 Bottles of Vodka and the rest was Jack and Jim, respectively. We're talking "Booze Baron" levels a.k.a Homer Simpson on the amounts. And this was only because of the new handy dandy XRay Toy that the military just picked up.

To give a rough approximation, according to sources, The Black Market Value of just one jug of Jack is like anywhere from 200 to 350 US Dollars. Yeah... banning it made it a real commodity on the Black Market. My guess is that this particular batch was worth around twenty grand on the low side in resale value. Needless to say, I may want to make cash, but not at the risk of getting caught. Here in Kuwait I heard that the jail cells aren't very large... just large enough for you and your cellmate to get to know each other 'intimately.' So no thanks on that.

Me, I'll wait til November when I go on R&R.

Man, I Need a Drink

This was me back during my trip to Egypt last summer. Egypt, despite it's Islamic Background still maintains a bit of common sense and has legal Booze. Suffice to say you can tell by the look on my face that the only thing on my mind was getting pie-eyed toute-suite. Needless to say about 4.5 seconds after my buddy snapped this photo I was neck deep swigging from a jug of Jose Cuervo 1800 Silver Patron and well on my way to a coma.

Such which leads me into today's subject. I need a drink... dying for a drink actually. It makes me really wonder what is on the minds of the Kuwaitis maintaining this 11th Century approach to Law and Order. This country, which prides itself on its Islamic Approach to Law, (dubbed Sharia) leaves itself open to being the biggest bunch of fucking HYPOCRITES that I've ever seen.

"Hypocrites Big Country? Whatever do you mean?"

Well, let me see... for one instance that leaps to mind was the drunk ass Camel Jockey who rammed into my SUV back last Decemeber, leaving me with an extra set of screws, plates, and pins that I wasn't originally issued with. I mean it was nice and all to accessorize, but I already had a 'donation' of extra metal courtesy the Iraqi Insurgent Bastards and the Chinese mortars that they threw at me back in '04. How do I know he was a drunk Camel Jockey you ask? Well... the fact is that immeadiately AFTER the wreck, (DCJ as I'll refer to him as henceforth) DCJ's buddies rolled up in another car and like immeadiately emptied the trunk of his wrecked ride... said things being removed in question being shaped like cases of Johnny Walker and clinking like cases of Johnny Walker, and with labels that to a suspicious person might have even read "Johnny Walker" to an astute observer. According to other witnesses, even a couple of handguns were pulled out... me... I only remember the booze and remember how pissed I was that this joker had enough hootch on board to float one hell of a party. Since then, I've been told that BECAUSE he was hauling booze, literally a "rum runner" this's why I never had any further legal action taken either for me or against me.

Yeah... it seems that the reason I didn't get hauled off in front of a magistrate to answer for being an Infidel Driving Recklessly is that I got clowned by someone who was probably 'connected.' Such is life in the Hypocritical Middle East. He was probably hauling the hootch for someone 'important' and therefore, we'll just forget this ever happened ok?

Yeah. I was advised that trying to sue this POS would have meant having it judged in front of a Sharia Court... which means I'd be lucky to NOT get sued back, and never mind being found guilty of being "a Pork Eating Crusader Infidel with Intent to Defame Islam" or some other bullshit like that. Yeah... the deck is stacked against me in a major way. Such is the tear that I'm on.

Specifically, I'm thirsty as hell. I's been since I was home in July since I sipped the 'Nectar of The Gods' and I'm cranky because of it. My liver is so bored it's been taking a brewmaster correspondance course and the kidneys are getting tired of processing just water and soda. It's enough to make a guy think about taking up a hobby. Maybe smoking? Probably not. I mean hell, at least back in Iraq I had hootch. Acres of Hootch. At one point the Countries INC. had a store room liberally stocked with over 20 cases of Heineken Tall Boys and about 5 cases of mixed liquors. I mean the only thing I had to risk in buying the hootch in Baghdad was a life-endangering ride up Route Irish to the deal with the Jordanian Mafia. I mean compared to this, it was a piece of cake.

I've intentionally NOT gotten involved with the boozer scene here in Kuwait. I'll just have to suck it up until my next R&R or next job... whichever comes first.

And the Beat(ing) Goes On.

Seems that no matter which way I turn, the Obamanation keeps on rolling with it's usual punches. Between Axelrod refering to the McCain campaign as the "sleaziest" in recent history, or the usual gaffs that "Slow Joe" has managed, the Obama Campaign is showing itself to be either completely fucking clueless or is trying to run what I'd say is the dirtiest campaign I've ever seen. For Axelrod to call the McCain Campaign dirty make me want to say "Pot... this is the Kettle You're......(fill in appropriate blank)........" Mind you... if I complete this phrase, then I'm deemed (or anyone who completes it according to the Obamabots) a RACIST. Never mind that it's an accurate representation of the issue... just that they want to be able to use the "New-KEWL-Lar Option" of the 'race card.'

Which is what I think they WANT the McCain Campaign to do. I mean really... making fun of McCain for not being able to use a computer? Especially when in 2 minutes of a 'Google Search' ANYONE can find a link to the story in the Boston Globe stating implicitly that

“McCain’s severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard, or tying his shoes.”

I mean it's either cluelessness, or a planned instigation. Part of me wants to say that this is an intentional ratcheting up of rhetoric. I mean lets face it... supposedly all of Barry's people are pros. They've been around. They also know that McCain has had a reputation for shall we say "Anger Management Issues" in the past? What if this is all a plan to slowly push him to a detonation? I mean it sort of fits with modus operandii of the Democrats these days. Push McCain into a fit of pique and make sure the cameras are rolling. I mean the amount of "Gotcha" attempts against McCain and Palin have been unreal.

From Whoopie "Cushion" Goldberg on "The View" asking if she had to worry about being a slave again. Note to Whoopie: You are a multi-millionaire comediane (not in my book mind you) who's NEVER been anyone's slave... to imply such insults all of your ancestors, never mind having insulted John McCain with a vicious attack that he couldn't possibly defend against in a public forum that BaBaWaWa then went and backed you on... Throw in "The Atlantics" photos of McCain that make him look like some 'supervillian' and man, how much more do you need? How about 'Gibson's Gaffe' against Palin by way of manipulating her interview footage, to Randi Rhodes coming out from under her rock and laying into Palin in ways that could get you sued for libel... I'm telling you. These deluded assholes have me in a burn. It's amazing how they trash out all these people because they don't agree with their opinions on how the world should be.

I mean my God... if things were TRULY as bad as these Libtards and Dummycrats are spouting, well hell... lets face it. They wouldn't be spouting it because the Secret Police would have already rounded them up, marked them AND their families for death (not a bad idea in many respects) and trucked them off to those 'secret concentration camps that exist in the deserts of Arizona'... right next to the New World Order Black Helicopter Airport and the "United Nations" Force that is here to keep order when George Bush declares himself "King George the First."

See where I'm going with this?

Irrational Liberal Hatred seems to be becoming a genuine problem, if not an actual disease. Between "Bush Derangement Syndrome" and it's offshoot, "Palin Derangement Syndrome" and with less than 52 days +/- til the election, I got a hunch it's gonna be a lot uglier a lot sooner...

It's Not Always Politics...

...it's also going to be my Travelog as well. Today was (Allah Be Praised!) My one day off that I get during the week. The work schedule tends to be hectic as all hell. Six days a week, Twelve hours a day, Total Enslavement. The 12 a day sounds bad, but is way worse when you figure that I'm having to actually CLOCK 12 hours... which means prep time, washing my nasty and commute time isn't counted. The day works out to being almost 18 hours long when I'm done.

Occasionally I get to go out... like today. I went down to the harbor to take some pictures with a buddy of mine and to see what was up before the heat of the day kicked in.

All in all, not a bad place. Just HOT. Like HOT HOT. I mean so hot my feet were being baked in my sneakers hot. The soles of my Adidas are/were an inch and a half thick. This picture was taken at 830am Local... it was approximately 127 degrees Fahrenheit. I could feel my tootsies being baked by the sun-drenched concrete I was standing on. Needless to say......I found some shade with a mega-quickness. This was provided at the Mall across from the nice harbor area. The Kuwaitis have malls everywhere. Every inch of retail space in Kuwait consists on malls or Suks. Pronounced "Soo-ooks", the Suk is a leftover of "The Good Old Days" that you see in 'Arabian Nights' or even in the Market scene in 'Indiana Jones.' There's only one Suk in Fahaheel, but I prefer to hit the malls as you don't get pestered by the salesmen chasing you down the street and alley with "Verry Good Barrrgain Meesta!!"This picture here shows my good friend Brian inside the Fahaheel Suk. If you look closely in the background you can see one of the local "Ninja Wimmen" walking around in full Islam Gear. Makes for an in teresting comparison when walking around in 130 Degree heat and seeing some poor chick walking around in 100% Black heavy layered fucking snowsuits eh? As you can imagine, Women's Liberation ain't got much traction hereabouts. The main reason is...
...everywhere you go, there's a Mosque. This one is ATTACHED to the back of the Mall that we were at. How many Churches in the States can say that they are part of the Great Consumer Movement in the US? Not many I reckon.

Anyways, for fun on the way home I noticed this one place that I HAD to take a picture of. Seems that a lot of businesses get their translation done by the same guy who does it in China. The picture I have below is of a Hair Salon... But man... what a bad job at translating they did on this one...

...Yeah... "The Bland Saloon." I really want to get my hair cut there right? And whats with the picture of the guy? Is it me, or does it look like "Evil Brandon" from 'Beverly Hills 90210' or something? I mean what a pug on that face, never mind that do you really want to get yer hair cut at a place that prides itself on being "bland?" Yeah... God love it... That'll do for now.

You do Photoshop your Way...

...and I'll do My Way... After all, It's the 'Chicago Way.' (hat tip to Confederate Yankee for the Quote)

Yes... it's kind of stuck in my head the way that the Obamabots been so active with using Palin's head on that skank's body with the air rifle (among others I've seen), so tonight while surfing around and reading, I realized that I had the perfect idea for both an article AND a "Photoshop Moment."

Yeah... I think it's rather appropriate seeings that this is THE exact question Barry and Co. are going to be asking over the next few weeks. The "Slamfest" that they started on Governor Palin snowballed into something that they themselves never envisioned. It's become the uncontrolable monster so to speak, in that they had hoped to control the Narrative, just like they have with Barry's story. Instead it's damaging their 'Chosen One' and causing chaos. Barry has now been, by my count, on the defensive for about a week and half, and his polling has been tanking when compared to two months ago. The concept that the Obamamites thought that they could either subtley or in most cases not-so-subtley attack a Mother of Five whos credentials equal or even exceed their candidates was preposterous on it's face.

The basic issue is that they thought that they had the "Woman's Vote" locked up by merit of being 'progressives' and 'liberal' in itself. I think the term is 'Hubris' in this instance. The presumption that "just because they have in the past" should not mean you take them (meaning the female vote) for granted. In this case Janet Jackson's song "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" comes leaping to mind, especially when dealing with a group as touchy as Women Voters.

"Big Country! You SEXIST PIG!"

Well, more like a chauvanist pig, thank you very much. My wife, Household Six even agrees that I'm one of the last "He Man Macho Men" rolling. Of course I think that its more appropriate for her to not work and be a full time mother at home while I earn the cash to run the house. I also don't separate colors when, on the rare occasion that I do laundry, and I'm happier for it. As far as Women Voters, I've been exposed to waaaaaaaaay too much of that shit when I was a child. My Mom was a big-time "League of Women Voters" activist and HUGELY into politics when I was a kid. My Dad with his rather twisted sense of humor would refer to it as the "League of Wimmen Vultures" as the majority of them weren't none too good looking. Mom was so into it that she'd draft my brother and me to help campaign for (UGH!!!) Ted Kennedy back in 1980 or something like that. She figured using us to hand out flyers and such because we were still in 'cute kid mode' that we'd have a better chance to get the vote out. Whatever. I remember that every election year my house that I grew up in became a madhouse of long haired volunteers sleeping on the floor, mass mailings and obscure rallys late into the evening. No wonder I became a Republican... and psychotic to boot.

Either way, I'd say that despite the denials of the Obamanoids, Palin's Candidacy has really fired up women everywhere. Obama had hoped to get the Hillaroid Voters to jump on his bandwagon, but because of the "Palin Gambit" (similar to a Hail Mary in football) the McCain Campaign has taken a major lead in the polls, and might be able to crest this to November if they play it smart. Because of the 'lack of class' and sexist approach that the Barryfolk took towards Governor Palin, and thereby women in general, well, frankly it can't be recalled... unlike Biden.

Which in itself is becoming a real posibility. However, if they DO recall 'Slow Joe' and attempt to re-instate Hillary, then the Obama Campaign will be finished. After all, who's to say Hillary would even be willing to be 'sloppy seconds' in a desperate attempt to mend fences? I'm sure she wouldn't. Her best move will be to sit pat, keep quiet, let Obama and his Obamanoids flounder and flop like a fish out of water for the next 5 weeks, and allow McCain to be a one-term Presidency and attempt to jump in in 2012. Joe however isn't helping matters. His best bet to stay on the ticket would be to volunteer to have a laryngectomy performed. Hopefully he won't though, as he's providing enough fodder for late night humor TV for the next generation or so.

Obama's Thin Skin

Nevermind the color... it would seem that the Man Who Would Be King...er...President is a bit 'thin skinned' as it were. The Mainstream Media has done a great job of covering for him, but I realized today that he's just NOT Presidential Material.

"Why Big Country! You RACIST!"

Well, nope. I'm not. Far from it. I'm a realist. Right now has it occurred to anyone (and I know it has) that Old Barry is a bit "Over The Top" on his defensiveness and attacks on the VICE-Presidential pick? Shouldn't Ole Barry be a bit more concerned with the Presidential competition? He and his more rabid supporters have been going pretty much nonstop since the announcement and Sarah Palin's speech. It would seem that he's a bit too...shall we say obsessed? with his constant hammering and he's been revealing a bit too much of himself in a negative fashion.

Between his failure to be either gracious and/or congratulatory at the announcement of Governor Palin becoming the VP candidate, and his rather poor attacks attempting to belittle her achievements, (he only mentioned her being a mayor of a small town), he's done gone and shot himself in the foot continuously. His deployment of a squad of lawyers to Alaska to 'dig dirt' on her is just awful. If McCain did this, the media would be screaming from their ivory towers: "Hangin's too good for 'im!" Obama's inability to get past this, and his obvious sexist attitude (which the media has continually given him a pass on) is showing on all levels... and as we're seeing in the polls and in his money donations falling, this is translating to lost support.

His continual harping on how "She's just a continuation of Bush's Policies" and his near-tantrum of "But I'm the real agent for change!!!" is more suited to my 7 year old daughter throwing a fit when she doesn't get her pick for the movie on Friday night, rather than of a Presidential Nominee.

It's downright embarassing.

And the American Public has noticed.

Seven Years...

OK... in keeping with the 'General Mood' of things, I'll comment for a bit on the whole '9/11' thing. Simply put: We've been at war for seven years now... a War against an Idea. An Ideological War if you will... It's not a war of conquering territory or a people, although to hear the pundits and politicians talk of it, it's all about Bin Laden or his Al Queda folks. Others propogate the idea that the War is against Iraq/Iran/or "Fill in the Blank Country of your Choice." In reality we're dealing with a War of Ideas, which when you get down to it is all a Religion is. This is that we're fighting in a battle of 'hearts and minds' so to speak. This war, while the current battles may take place in a city in Iraq or on the open plains or mountains of Afghanistan, is still basically a battle between beliefs systems.

Lets call it what it is: "My Invisible Man in the Sky is BETTER than your Invisible Man in the Sky."

I mean realistically, religion, or at least the IDEA of religion is a theoretical idea of a "higher power" that has omniscient powers and is 'in charge' of the Universe and created everything everywhere and knows everything. I'm not dogging religion per se, in as much as the concept of organized religion. Organized religion, according to my Late Great Grandfather began when the first Con Man met the First Fool. Essentially the Con Man was able to get the Fool to believe that he (the Con Man) was in communication with the "Higher Power" (usually referred to as God) and subsequently, the Fool should support/feed/pay the Con Man "because God wants you to." This leads me back to my original issue.

This war is a War of Ideas. At the current rate we're going, we're never going to stop battling these people as long as they believe that they are fighting for the "Glory of their Chosen God." The one thing we'd have to do is start thinking of this as more of a psychological war. Treat these people like cultists, rather than as enemy combatants. I'd have to say, the idea is that I think we need to look at 'deprogramming them' more than killing them on the battlefield. Not saying that we shouldn't be killing the ones who are 'far gone' that is... if they're dumb enough and violent enough to pick up an AK and go after American troops, then they get what they deserve. Its that we need to start getting them, deprogramming them, while they are young.

For instance, the Al Jazeera TV network and the West Bank television programming include a regular set of early morning kids shows. Normally not a problem, but the fact is that they use the most graphic propoganda to instill hatred of Jews and Infidels in these kids shows. In my own humble (not so much) opinion, if I were in charge, the first thing I'd do is drop a BLU-96 Fuel Air Explosive on any and all transmission stations and the TV station itself. I'd set up jammers and block any and all forms of 'hate TV' from being broadcast. These people start by programming the kids when they are too young to either know better or defend themselves against this brainwashing. Everyone wonders why, that by the age of 18, the majority of Palestinian males are clinically depressed. Well, possibly the fact that from from the time they are born they are told that Martyrdom is the best thing they can hope for, that they have no country or hope while the Infidels keep them down, and that they are subject to all these cockamamie rules that goes along with their religion. Its bad enough being an American teen with NORMAL angst, but can you imagine being a Palestinian? Where your parents' one fond hope is that you blow yourself up and take a pile of infidels with you? "Gee mom... Thanks!"

Talk about a sick fucking culture.

When I was 18, all I wanted to worry about was getting laid, that new zit on my forehead before the prom, and if I'd have enough gas money to party on the weekend. These kids are programmed from birth to be the 'new martyrs.' They haven't had the chance to realize that life has a lot more going for it than death. I mean until someone shows up with proof positive of an afterlife, I'd be really hesitant to go blowing myself to pieces.

Hell... you'd think that common sense should be breaking out at some point in that if someone came up and asked me to be a Suicide Bomber that you'd ask them "If it's so good to be a martyr, then why don't YOU go and do it?" At that point you should expect the usual hemming and hawing worthy of a politician. Not with these people. They really think that what they are doing is 'blessed' by their God, and that what they are doing is righteous.

When I was in Baghdad in 2004 at the beginning of the Insurgency.. this was when all of the 'firebrand' Mullahs (preists in Islam) were talking up taking up arms against the 'Crusaders' and 'Infidels'... One of my Iraqi friends told me that by allowing these guys to hype up the locals, the military was essentially shooting itself in the foot. His advice (which no one listened to) was to round up the Anti-American Mullahs and publically execute them in a gruesome public fashion and leave the bodies in a public display as a warning to the rest. "Leave them for the crows." he told me. A few months later when we were in what essentially was a shooting war again, I saw Mohamned as he was preparing to pull out for Jordan. "You Americans are too soft to be here." he told me. "As long as you try to treat these people as equals, you will never be able to stop them."

It comes down to that after seven years of conventional war, we need to start rethinking this. The standard "Bomb 'em into the Stone Age" doesn't really work when the bad guys already live at a Hunter-Gatherer level just outside the Neolithic. I'd say we need to try something different... because those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.