Thursday, September 11, 2008

OK Theres a First Time for Everything...

...and I figured after about five or so years of bullshitting around, I should actually try posting the various insane ramblings that I've been taken to writing and put them 'out there' for the general reading audience.
For those of you joining for the first time, let me introduce myself. I'm Big Country, my nom-de-guerre as it were, that was given to me by one of my old bosses back in Iraq in 2004. I've been bouncing around the Middle East since the beginning of 2004, and have had quite the number of adventures, most of which I've written in the form of outrageous and politically incorrect emails to my friends and family. One of them hung the nickname of "The Intrepid Reporter" on me, and I've used that as my signature line for my emails ever since. In a thumbnail, I'm a 38 year old prior service vet of the U.S. Army with a backround in the Airborne Infantry, Armor and Logistics. I was a member of the famed 101st Airborne Division and also a member of the First Cavalry Division. I've got some Special Ops background too, but I can't talk about that, 'cause then I'd have to kill you. I'm currently married and have two children who probably wonder who Dad is, seeings that I'm only home 3 weeks out of the year. My long-suffering Wife, Household Six, tolerates me mainly because:

A) I send a LARGE paycheck home and
B) I'm not there making messes and being in her way.

If you are offended easily or are 'faint of heart' so to speak, then you DO NOT want to continue reading this. I'm opinionated, loud, obnoxious, and generally prefer to do my writing under the influence of chemicals, be they legal or, seeings that I'm in Kuwait EVERYTHING is illegal. I'm an equal-opportunity offender. I offend EVERYONE at one point or another. My Mother says that politically, I'm to the right of Himmler, and that I swear too much, but hey, fuck it. I can't please everyone.
Currently I'm enslaved...er...employed by a "Company That Shall Remain Nameless" seeings that the chickenshit bastards would probably fire me for spilling the beans of what a fantastic rail-job they've been pulling on me AND Uncle Sam. Either way, I'm still in Kuwait and enduring the whole fucking "Religion of Peace that is Islam"

HAH!!!

Oh? Did that slip out? Oops. Yeah... I may as well get that off my chest early. I'm currently dealing with Kuwait and "The Religion of Peace" TM. It's Ramadan, and that generally means that despite being a Neo-Catholic/Christian like myself, I have to follow the 'Local Rules' that the Mullahs and every other whackadoo are currently following. For the remainder of the month, there's no Food, Water, Sex, Boozing (not thats allowed anyways), Smoking or just about any other 'normal human activity' allowed during the time from sun up, to sun down. No wonder these people are poopy so much eh? Literally, they fast from oh-dark-early in the morning til oh-dark-late in the evening. Then they throw down and pig the fuck out until they go to bed. Even though I'm NOT a member of their cult...er...religion, but because I'm in a Sharia Run country, I'm expected/told that I WILL follow the Ramadan Rules OR ELSE!
Yep. Failure to comply will get you hemmed up and put in the slam. Makes me wonder where the fucking "Freedom From Religion" folks or Micheal Newdow or those other assholes from the NAACP or whoever the hell it is who tries like hell to banish all forms of religion from public view in the US? Oh yes... thats right... if they tried their crap here, they'd be lucky to escape with their heads still attached to their bodies... anyways...
Yes, I'm here for the 'now' as they say. I have no choice seeings that I'm waiting on a new contract, one that will HOPEFULLY, like Calgon, Take Me Away... to Japan no less. Then I'll be able to Blog about my experience with the Japanese culture, and insult the hell out of it while having my adventures there.

So this will be my latest, and hopefully regular update for you all. Stay Tuned!
Until later, I remain, The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

big country, (i started to use your name but you might have to kill me), is the world ready for you? see, to some degree, those of us who have benefited from your vast ramblings, were chosen. (that's a religious term, in this case).but some poor fool is going to walk in to your trap and never be able to get away. you will control their lives. so I see this as a power trip for you. you will be the master of their realms. I implore you, fuck them up slowly.
signed, frank r. (as you know, all of us brothers and those around us were fucked up long before you stumbled upon us)