Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Coolest Foot Patrol EVVA

An interesting thing happened onto the way to the latrine this morning...

Now isn't that a show stopper?

Yeah, things here are quiet, and rather than go into how boring it is, I'll make mention of some of the wacked out weirdness that I'm so fond of reporting. Now, granted, the Intrepid Reporter of Fame and Legend (if only in my own mind) does his 'morning abulutions' like any other dude, but this morning was a real shall we say interesting experience on the way to the throne. Like I said, I was on my way to the Throne Room to my morning Shit, Shave and Shower (generally in that order, unless I have a case of the Explosive Shits) and as I came out of the hootch, I heard some music. Faint, but definately music.

Now here in Baghdad, depending on the time of day, sounds blasting out of the ethers is generally classified by three prime catagories. These being:
1) Announcements of Controlled Detonations and such stuff. They at least try to warn us when they're gonna light off some serios "boom-boom" so's to not freak out the REMFs.
2) Announcements of Incoming. This usually is after the fucking rounds have impacted, the followed byu the "All Clear" as the idiots in the TOC realize the rounds have already either hit, or been taken out by the CIWS.
3) Howling Hajjis baying to their god. 4 or 5 times a day, at any given time... now granted, I've covered this in other reports, so the people just tuning in have to realize that like multiple times a day the Fucking Hajjis play the Muezzinin Music or Islamics Call To Prayer. Granted, entertaining the first few times you hear it, but after a few weeks of it, you want to choke the fucking life out of the dude baying into the mike.

Now none of this matched, and there was a distict rythm to said music. It got louder as I got outside of the T-Wall barrier, and then started to form into something more comprehensive.

Techno. German electric boogie Techno.

OK I thought, what sort of deranged dudes would be blasting this at 0600 am in the fucking morning? Well... as I turned the corner, who should be bouncing and beboppin along but a squad of Grunts. And when I say bepoppin, I do mean it... They were in full battle rattle, rifles slung and unloaded, but still wearing their gear fresh off a patrol overnight in Baghdad proper. They were sort of "struttin it" to the music, and in step and kind of boppin along like they were back on the block or something... except stateside, they'd never be armed as heavily as they were. I looked closely, and the trail soldier was obviously the source of the tunage. I looked closer, jaw on the ground mind you as this was one insanely bizarre sight, and saw that the trail Grunt had a pair of speakers mounted on the top of his body armor complete with specialized carriers in ACU pattern. He obviously had them plugged into a IPod or something, and had the volume cranked. I was staring (obviously at what to quote Mr Clean from 'Apocalypse Now': "This shor nuff be a bizarre enuff sight in the middle of all dis shit!") and the Trail Grunt looked over and broke into a HUGE grin at the OBVIOUSLY befuddled contractor and said "This is the COOLEST foot patrol YOU'LL ever see!!!"

Yeah it was...

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