I promised photos from outside the wire, but I haven’t made a trip that allowed me to take said pics. Not that there’s been any danger, more of the line that A) It’s Christmas Eve and B) The only run I made out there was to hit the duty free to get a goodly supply of booze to insure I would be well lubricated through what I consider to be some insanely tough times. I’ve been trying for six plus times over the past week or so to go get with my friends at another FOB to spend the holidays with them. Seeing that my REAL family is in the states, and having a good time, I figured I’d try to get with my “Iraq Family” which consists of my best friends to include Lil Country, and get a load on with them. Like I said, tough times… one Christmas at home with a broken leg in the past 5 years… Fuck me.
Problem is, as in the States, because things are mellow, almost every single chopper flight I’ve tried to get has been cancelled due to ‘weather’ or some other such shit. Tonight, the sky is clear as a bell, but my guess is that the CW-2/4 flying the bird decided he couldn’t see Hong Kong, so therefore, no go on the flight. It was a piss me off in that I had to get ‘suited up’ in full battle rattle to include my Dragon Skinz and Plates and helmet, and since I made it a point of being there 45 minutes before the flight, I was wearing said afore-mentioned gear, minus skull bucket, as I waited, (apparently in vain,) for the helo. Not once, not twice, but six fucking times over the past week they’ve shitcanned the birds going where I wanted to go.
Eh… it’s the holiday. Let ‘em get the rest and chill mode when they can. My only piss me off is I’m stuck here, instead of with close friends, pecking out in a two finger mode this fucking report rather than winging it out to party central. Now this leads me into some interesting info I copped while hanging out on the helipad. Seems that when yer travelling in theater, you meet ALL sorts of people. Case in point, today it was the head of the U.S.O. contingent, and the head of the J.V.B. Now you all (or at least those who aren’t retarded) should know what the U.S.O. is… the J.V.B. I’ll explain to avoid the editor in the back with his goddamned questions.
The J.V.B. stands for the Joint Visitors Bureau. It’s where the celebrities and other such IMPORTANT folks come and stay at Victory and other major bases. In ’04 I met Toby Keith there in a one-on-one, and it’s where Lil Country and I got to fuck with that asshole Geraldo Rivera. (If you didn’t hear/see that one, you missed a classic ‘common man v.s. celeb’ fight so to speak) But I digress… I was on the periphery of a conversation between Ms. U.S.O. and the J.V.B. Lieutenant…
Now a lot of you back home saw the WWE (World Rassling Entertainment) show “For the Troops” that the McManns put on over here… It’s really cool that WWE comes over, and the setup and filming was done a few weeks ago. Me? I saw it, and avoided it as I was busy, and realistically, this gig was for the troops. They had ALL the major stars there and the idea was to have as many troops in the scene as possible. Unlike Kuwait where they wereWANTING my big ass to show up, this time I stayed out of the way. Let’s face it, I’m Bigger than MOST of the WWE stars. At 6’4 and 320lbs, and in pretty good shape, despite the steroid enhancement, I’d kick half of their asses, and ask for seconds LOL! Yeah… pure ego talking there. Anyways, besides hyping the Big Country stats, reality is this: I overheard the LT who’s in charge of ‘handling’ the stars. They stay at the J.V.B….and well according to the LT and these are EXACT quotes :
“They trashed the place… broke furniture… puked on the walls, the floor, all over, got drunk and wrecked their rooms. Bastards even left ammo behind… live rounds all over and other shit… they even got drunk as fuck PUBLICALLY (my aside… a big no-no… get drunk in private… don’t flaunt it) and then while fighting threw some guys into the pond!”
Now from my point of view: What a bunch of fucking assholes.
If I were in charge, the next time the WWE came here, each ‘superstar’ (read steroid enhanced asshole) would have a minder locked and loaded with a tazer to keep them in line, and if that didn’t look like it would work, a fully loaded M249 chopped and cropped Squad Automatic with orders that if these neo-primates got out of line, that they were to be shot, with all subsequent paperwork to read “accidental discharge” as the final result…. I’d even have, as “Officer in Charge” paperwork pre-filled out, with a ‘fill in the blank’ for the name of the cretin who got stupid and got shot in the process.
I mean GREAT that they come here for the line troops… STILL WHAT THE FUCK man? You come here, and act like a total asshole to everyone who is there to insure your safety? Me? Fuck… I’d be dropping them outside the wire and telling them to see if they can hitch a ride off of Route Irish. Ungrateful spoiled rotten fucking scumbags. I know ‘roids can fry the brain, but still… Pissing off heavily armed people? I’m just thinking they should be thankful that this wasn’t ’04-’05 under 3rd CORP as they would have killed these prick.
Anyways, It’s now officially Christmas, as it’s 0003 Hours, so Merry Christmas Everyone. My email has been fucked as the Norton AV I have won’t let me send shit (need to fix that) but as they say, Merry Christmas to all, the Loves of my Life, Gina, Ryan and Marissa, Mom and Dad and Hud and Amy, and never forget… I also want to include Kris, Paul, My God Daughter Mariah and Andrew, all the Rasicot Clan, as well as Broady and all the former McKesson Crew to especially include Spinelli, and Batman. Others include the people who email me and comment regularly to include Bob Owens from Confederate Yankee and FireFox down in Mass… I’ll holler after the new year. Peace and Love and God Bless
The Intrepid Reporter